Oh, you're going to get excited.
You know what today is?
It's Wikipedia Day.
Really?
Nothing?
All right.
Well, I read it on Wikipedia, so it's probably not even true.
So for miles stompin' grounds, a North Dakota woman received a letter 72 years after it was sent.
North Dakota, a state with so little going on that late mail makes headlines.
A NASA astronaut returned to Earth early due to an illness.
Let me guess, mercury poisoning.
I thought that was pretty good too.
Boeing reports it outsold Airbus last year for the first time since 2018.
Boeing products were flying off the shelves just like doors were flying off their planes.
There's a Virginia woman who says she snorts all of her food from omelets to steak.
She don't care.
She snorts at all.
Then she excused herself to deep fry her cocaine.
United Health Foundation ranked America's healthiest states, and this is weird.
Louisiana, top the list.
Yeah, what if you look at it upside down?
Greatful dead guitarist Bob Weir left behind a $60 million fortune.
Damn, that guy made more money off hippies than Birkenstock.
The Lord of the Rings trilogy will return to theaters for the 25th anniversary.
Actually, it never left theaters since it takes 25 years to watch, or it feels like it.
Kiefer Sutherland was busted for fighting on Sunset Boulevard, so I guess I was wrong.
Kiefer Sutherland can get arrested in Hollywood.
The Emmys is going to feature a new award for TV shows with a lasting impact.
So now, Jimmy Fallon will know exactly when to take a bathroom break.
And finally, Kenan Thompson has a new book out called Unfunny Bunny.
I haven't read it, but I assume it's an autobiography?
No.
That's all I got, thank God.
