Hey, it's waters from the waters wake up call random Wednesday.
We were celebrating ask a stupid question day Thank you for all the stupid questions.
I hope I didn't let you down with stupid answers Yeah, I would have to think so
You know, I had, I did an interview with Smokey Bear one time and he does that.
In fact, he says the only time he lights a fire in the woods is when, was when he dropped an especially potent duty.
The smell was just, it was unbearable.
And he had to light a match.
And unfortunately, even that wasn't enough to put a dent in the fume, so he had to light the fire.
He didn't start a forest fire though, because he's
Smoky Bear.
So if I were to change the question to, uh, does Smoky Bear poop in the woods?
I would say yes.
Other than that, one time he got really mad at this Boy Scout troop who were camping just outside the woods because they were rowdy, so he did his business on one of their tents.
Smoky Bear does poop in the woods unless the Boy Scouts are getting rowdy, then he goes on a tent.
So it's either the woods or a tent.
I bet you won't get a stupider answer than that.
Okay.
What part of the buffalo do the buffalo wings come from?
What part of the buffalo do the buffalo wings
come from.
I
can't give an answer to these people that ask me these questions.
Well, sir, I believe they're located in the West Wing and East Wing of the Buffalo.
They're
located.
I work in a procedure suite where we do colonoscopies very frequently.
I have a patient say, do I have to take my underwear off?
Every time, it's finally I started saying, well, I guess we can kind of hold on your underwear if you want.
And then they're like, oh,
Ask him, are you wearing your special colonoscopy underwear?
Because if you are, then you don't.
And then they'll just look at you like, um, what?
What?
With modern technology, who knows?
Maybe someday.
Someday, colonoscopy underwear.
Maybe one day, there will be a special chip in this underwear that will be able to tell you if there is a problem beforehand.
So it's underwear that performs the
colonoscopy.
Make this a stretch.
Probably.
Well, hopefully the underwear would, too.
Be the stretchable underwear.
See, I told you I would come up with a dumb answer and I came up with so many levels of a stupid answer for your stupid question.
Yes.
Thank
you.
Good morning, Mike Waters.
This is Karen.
How we doing?
Pretty good.
Excellent.
I'm calling you because I have a stupid question constantly asked of me.
Okay.
Let's hear it.
When I watch my dog, all of these people who think they are so clever like to pull over and say, who's f**king who?
So they actually take the time out of their busy day to pull over in their car and yell out the window, who's walking who?
Yes.
Boy.
Small town Iowa.
So that's a small town Iowa stupid question.
I would have never guessed that.
I'm never walking an animal.
I've got a cat.
Have you ever tried to walk a cat?
Yes, my sister always used to have one on a leash.
Really?
Yes.
Boy, well I guess I just asked you a stupid question.
I guess it happens.
So now that you've been asked that several times, have you come up with a good response?
No.
No.
I try to be Iowa nice and smile and laugh.
You know, I think you should just say, come on.
Come on.
What are you?
What are you?
Simple?
What are you?
New?
I'm walking the dog.
That's how it works.
That's always how it's worked.
Human walks the dog.
What's that?
And you just go up to their cars.
You're walking up there.
Just yell at
No, that wouldn't be small town Iowa nice.
Don't do that.
No, no, I want to create peace on the planet.
I
know.
Yeah.
Well, how about sick of them?
Oh, good.
Well, at least we are in agreement.
That is not a bright question.
And please stop asking it.
Yeah.
Hey, Mike, when you go to the grocery store and you're checking out in the line and they ask you every time, did you find everything OK?
Well, now, would I be checking out if I hadn't found everything?
Right.
Well, you
know, I was in your kids department and I found a lot of clothes, but there were no kids there.
It was creepy.
Where are the kids?
Doesn't make any sense because yeah, if I can't find anything, I'm gonna find people before I get to the checkout.
Right.
Right.
That's obvious.
That's most smart people.
There's gotta be a better way to phrase that question.
Did you find everything?
Or are you stupid?
It's just dumb.
It is dumb.
And they do it every time, and it's just like, I'm in here three times a week before I know where the stuff is
more than you do.
Good morning, Mike.
How are you, my friends?
I'm doing pretty good.
How are you?
Doing great.
Excellent.
There's all the hot wheels I'm out here just trucking around this morning, and I've been driving a truck almost 60 years, and I've had a question that's never been answered, and everybody's like,
It's
just one of the many things that's counterintuitive in this world.
It doesn't have to make sense.
In fact, it's nonsense and nonsense these days happens to be the common type of
sense.
So
it just, it makes.
sense slash nonsense for it to go that way, the parkway and the driveway.
Right.
I knew if
anybody could make any sense, I would be someone with no nonsense.
Right.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So that, you know, you have to give a stupid answer to a stupid question, and I think that would be it.
It's all about the nonsense these days.
That's the only thing that's understandable.
I think you nailed it, my friend.
I think so too, Hot Wheels.
All
right, man.
Good morning, Mr. Waters.
Well, good morning to you.
How are you?
Fantastic.
Good.
Well, I'm thinking a little Wanda Wednesday.
Yeah?
How about Neil Diamond?
Girl, you'll be a woman soon.
Can I dedicate it to you?
Actually, can you dedicate that to Brennan?
Brennan?
Yeah.
Tell me who Brennan is.
Just some guy I work with.
Just a guy who... Well, tell him he won't be a goofball for long.
He'll be a woman soon.
I
like my coffee, usually with just a little creamer.
All right, fair enough.
And the dumbest question I could ever think of asking is, do you know a good station to listen to?
That is a stupid question.
Oh, that's a stupidest.
Oh.
Oh, man.
Of course, it's this station, this radio station.
And what's even dumber is when people ask, how do you spell that?
It's K-O-K-Z.
It's about as simple as it gets.
That's simpler than I am, Dave.
Oh, it is.
Yeah,
yeah.
Well, you have a good day, buddy.
Is that your boyfriend or your husband's truck you're driving?
So basically they're saying, hey, you're a woman.
Why would you drive a big old truck like that?
Exactly.
So what do you do?
Sometimes it's just easier to smile and nod and laugh it off.
I think you're kind of encouraging them with a smile and a nod, you know, and they'll just keep asking the question.
Well, I don't understand why they assume that a girl can't drive a big truck.
How about this?
If they ask you that, just say, oh, no, that's mine.
I bought it to run over guys like you.
Oh,
I like that one.
Then put you in the bed of the truck and then drive you off in the middle of nowhere.
You know?
You sound like a
person who knows hog farmers.
I don't even know if I want to know the answer to this.
Oh
man, so it started off as a stupid question then ended with a stupid answer and all
Gold came together as a stupid joke.
Now, that is the stupid trifecta, man.
And I think you've been drinking your coffee today, because I got to say, way to go.
You get the gold medal for stupid today.
Thank you.
Have an awesome
stupid day.
I work in a procedure suite where we do colonoscopies.
Very frequently, I have a patient say, do I have to take my underwear off?
Every time.
So finally, I started saying, well, I guess we can kind of hold on your underwear if you want.
And then they're like, oh.
Ask him, are you wearing your special colonoscopy underwear?
Because if you are, then you don't.
And then they'll just look at you like, what?
With modern technology, who knows?
Maybe someday, someday, colonoscopy underwear.
Maybe one day, there will be a special chip in this underwear that will be able to tell you if there is a problem beforehand.
So it's underwear that performs the
colonoscopy.
Thank you.
Probably.
Well, hopefully the underwear would too.
The stretchable
Anywho!
See, I told you I would come up with a dumb answer and I came up with so many levels of a stupid answer for your stupid question.
Yes.
Thank you.
I am the mother of
twins.
Yeah?
And that redundant question, are they twins?
Happens all too frequently.
Why do they ask when it's- it must be-
They must be identical twins, huh?
They are.
So, no, one's a clone of the other.
The right one's the clone.
The left one's the original.
We've gotten to the point where we just smile and nod.
And they have the same birthday too.
Yeah.
Right, it's August 23rd and we expect a present.
But if it's so obvious, what is the reason they're asking the question?
I think it's just the start of conversation to
ask
about
them.
Like, tell me about your twin story.
Yes.
You know, I like small talk, but I hate
teeny weeny talk.
I think that's teeny weeny talk.
You know, obvious redundant talk.
I've never quite described like that.
Yep, I just coined the phrase teeny weeny talk.
I have a dog that has blue eyes.
And I know that's not common, but it's not really uncommon either.
I mean, there are breeds that just have blue eyes.
So I've had people ask me on the street, wow, that dog have contacts?
What?
And they're serious?
Yeah, I'm like, what kind of a monster do you think I
ate?
Well, you know, he was wearing glasses, but he kept shaking them off.
You know, every time he just kind of had a shiver, they just go flying across the room.
Yeah, I usually just look at him like they have, you know, thick heads.
No, you should look
at them like a confused dog, you know, with the head tilt
and
go.
Weekday mornings, 5 30 to
