HIT AND RUN HEADLINES 8-12-2025

Who used all the Wi-Fi?

Ah, apartment life.

Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.

Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.

Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.

Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.

That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.

Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.

Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?

A

Tennessee man, I say a Tennessee man, who shot his wife stopped for a beer on the way to the hospital.

Yeah, shot, shot his wife.

Oh, I'll bet she needs some help.

Let's take her to the hospital after I have a beer.

Yeah, in his defense, you know, it is a beer and she's his wife, so...

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding, of course, that guy's a... jerk.

Man in Italy survived two days with a crossbow arrow in his head.

And yes, police described him as a wild and crazy guy.

That was my terrible Steve Martin.

Yeah, you're welcome.

A new app lets strangers pay to come to your wedding and cover the cost by purchasing tickets.

You know, if I ever get married again, I'll let family and friends come to the wedding for free.

But if they want to be in the receiving line, they have to buy meat and greets for 500 bucks.

And if you want to get into the reception, VIPs are going to run you about a grand.

Unless you're a less liked relative or friend.

That'll be about 1500.

AOL is getting rid of its dial-up internet service.

You know, at least that's what it says on this fax I just

received.

And this news is brought to you by the year 2003.

It's National Middle Child Day, as well as being Final Records Day.

And Middle Child Day means everyone is going to ignore it.

Just like you middle children.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

Give your middle kid a hug.

Then shower immediately because as we all know, middle children are weirdos and they smell funny.

A study found that more senior citizens than ever are buying guns.

Still though, the deadlier danger presented by grandpa is definitely pulling his finger.

I mean, my grandfather

On my dad's side was especially dangerous.

I'm pretty sure he assisted Oppenheimer on the Manhattan Project.

That's how bad that was.

And there's a study that says women may be more responsive to romance when they're full.

Yeah, which is why I now spend my Friday night scoping out the ladies at the Golden Corral Buffet in Davenport.

Mm-mm.

Today is, uh, well, it's Middle Child Day, it's Vinyl Records Day, and it's International Elephant Day, and radio hosts can certainly identify with elephants, since they also often work for peanuts.

Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits, 76 today, he marked the occasion with a new song called The Walker of

Life.

Finally, Sir Mix-A-Lot turns 62 today.

Nowadays, he really can't remember if he likes big butts or not.

He's trying to though.

Most nights for him, it's more like Sir Peas-A-Lot.

And he now goes by the name Sir Mix-A-Lot of Metamucil.

Alright, well that's, I guess all I got.

waters with a waterswagel call on 157 KOKZ.

Iowa's class account.

This is all the Wi-Fi!

Ugh, apartment life.

Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.

Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.

Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments.

Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer, internet included, a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.

That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.

Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.

Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?