Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
The
average person has 1600 photos on their phone.
For young people, the photos are of family.
For old people, the photos are of a single attempt to take a photo of family.
You know how that can go.
Quick, get one more.
Southwest Airlines is cutting 15% of its corporate jobs.
They meant to cut them two years ago, but just like a Southwest flight, that plan just kept getting delayed and delayed.
Two men tried to launch drugs into a Louisiana prison and they would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for everything.
Scientists made a diamond that's 40% harder.
Can you imagine?
And by the way, they created it by putting it up your grandpa's butt during Kendrick Lamar's halftime show.
Oh, hold on.
There we go.
Only the fake studio audience can just laugh all at once and then stop all the way.
Anyway, Doge continues to make drastic cuts.
They even cut the punchline to this joke.
But thank you for still laughing, fake studio audience.
I appreciate that.
Today is National Chocolate Mint Day.
It's a day to celebrate the best way to ruin a perfectly good piece of
Oh, this is exciting.
Creed and Nickelback will co-headline a tour this summer in my nightmares.
No thank you.
The Saturday Night Live 50th anniversary special drew 14.8 million viewers.
That's one million viewers for each hour that it lasted.
And that's about right.
PBS has shut down all of its DEI programs.
Moving forward, Ernie and Bert officially no longer exist.
Sad.
Sad, really.
The director of The Brutalist says he's made no money from it.
Which is weird, since films about 1940s architects are normally just gold mines.
Smokey Robinson turns 85 today, and I'm not saying he's had a lot of Botox, but you can no longer see the tracks of his
turns 62 today.
He's going to celebrate with his brothers, Walrus and Otter.
He's going to be spending the day just like any other, begging for sardine treats and balancing a beach ball on his nose.
And finally, David Beckham stripped down to his boxers for a new ad campaign.
Obviously, people just want to see him naked.
I mean, the ad is for Olive Garden, so I'm not sure what that is.
has to do with anything, but that's all I
got.
Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station apartments.
Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer, internet included, a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
apartment?
