The Winter Weather Wandom Wednesday!

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No, no, can do.

That's got to be your catchphrase.

Yes.

Oh, and you're also going to carry the water's wake up call with the winner's survival kit.

Yes.

The stand gets too bad and they let Jesus take the wheel.

I've heard that somewhere.

Here's the thing.

As far as having Jesus take the wheel, when Jesus was alive, they didn't have cars.

So how would that work?

I mean, I trust the guy.

I have faith in the guy, but he never really took any driver's ed classes.

Yeah, I gotta watch out for the invisible snow snakes, though.

They're pretty bad.

I've never heard of an invisible snow snake, and Lord knows I've never seen one for obvious reasons.

Oh yeah, they've been right in.

I'm sure, especially if it's snowing.

That's

for sure.

Good morning, good morning.

Good

morning, morning, morning.

What's up?

What's happening?

Are you ready for the big storm coming?

Oh, yeah, I

love winter.

You love winter.

What do you love about winter?

I like the cold because it kills all the bugs.

I hate

bugs.

I do love that aspect as well as it kills the pollen and the mold, spores, and all that crap with my allergies.

Love winter and love extreme winter.

Why?

Why do you like, what do you do?

Are you an outdoors person during the winter?

Do you go skiing and snowmobile?

feeling and all that or what?

No, I just go outside and I shovel if I have the time and I just love to be outdoors in the cold.

Did you grow up around here in Iowa somewhere?

Actually, I was born as well, I wasn't born.

I lived in Davenport where you were born.

Oh, nice.

I

love the club.

Yeah, and my mom's from theapolis, so she told me that I'm a hardy Iowa.

That's a hardy breed.

That's what we called ourselves in North Dakota because

there you go.

We'd have below zero of 70 below at times.

Yeah.

You'd love that.

I would.

You're crazy.

You're

crazy.

Okay, here's my thing.

Okay.

For my car.

Yeah.

You gotta have bubble gum, especially in the wintertime because there's nothing better in life than going outside in the wintertime blowing a bubble and then it freezes hard.

It's my favorite thing.

I guess I

got one more thing to say.

Sorry.

This is a random Wednesday and we're talking about weather related things.

Okay.

I get up, get in my car yesterday and my little tire pressure thing is on.

So it's like, oh, so I stopped to get air at the closest place cause I live in a little town and pulling to get air.

They charge for air.

Who in the house orders for air?

There are a lot of places now that charge for air.

A lot of, like a quarter.

Do you have to pay a quarter and then you get air for a certain amount of time?

I don't know because I didn't do it.

I went to,

anyway, so then I go to their, their what do you call it, competitor.

Yes.

Because their air is free, of course.

Yeah.

And their machines are out of order.

Oh, for goodness sake.

Those are my two choices in that little town.

Well

you know what you can do if you find like a jiffy lube you can just say hey can you give me some air they'll let you in they'll give you air and then you drive away

I just can't wait to see yours my what bag that you're gonna put in your car for winter survival my go bag I just can't wait to see this thing are you gonna put it online aren't you

oh yeah I'll have I'll have my big bag of winter survival stuff

Baby

make sure you have your family truckster there too.

I'd love to see this

No, no, I don't take the family truckster out that does not do well in in snow and I have to be driving tomorrow morning to get here So I need a better car than that.

I'm bringing the monster truck with me.

Oh, there you go

Yeah, I got a monster truck.

Okay, cool.

You don't need a car top carrier

No, no, thank you though.

I appreciate that but no, I don't need that.

Yeah, I just want to make sure you're safe.

What would be the number one?

thing you would keep in a winter survival kit demand.

Other than the kitty litter, I probably would say warm socks.

Thermal ones,

yeah.

And let's add to that a thermal hat.

So you're keeping both ends warm and it's more important to wear the hat because that's how heat escapes from your body is right out the top of your head.

Well, you wouldn't know that because you blow a lot of hot air, don't you?

Yeah, so you can bring me along and I'll keep you warm with my hot air.

There we go.

Yeah, so me and your winter survival kit would be pretty.

Oh, no, you don't want that.

You don't want that.

Okay.

I keep a book in the car.

You keep a book in the car, so you'll be entertained at least.

Yeah, you know that that snow plow can just take its time.

I've got a good book.

Just don't read it while you're driving in this

stuff.

Okay.

Pepper meant schnapps.

And should you forget, I will always send a Saint Bernard with Brandy around his neck in that little

barrel.

I haven't said PSA, but alcohol will actually make you die quicker.

Why?

Alcohol is a phase of dilator, which means it opens up the blood vessels.

So it allows the warm blood from your core to flow to your skin, thus making you feel warmer, but cooling you off faster.

Oh my god.

Well, thank goodness you've called with this.

Right?

Yeah.

I

needed you to be responsible because I know some of your listeners will not.

Now, that being said, I always carry at least an us weekly and a boat.

That way you always have something

to burn.

So you're not a fan of these magazines or you've already read them a hundred times so you don't need them anymore.

A former more so it doesn't matter.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, I just wanted to clarify because you don't seem like an us weekly.

reader or Vogue or Cosmo.

So aside from the no alcohol and the bad magazines, what else does a truck driver bring along?

I mean, it seems to me like you guys would have the best winter survival kits.

You'll laugh at multiple, multiple layers.

One of the worst things you could do is like do anything.

that will trap heat and moisture.

You've got to be able to open it up.

Okay, not things that will trap heat and moisture.

Okay.

And, uh, I don't need survival training.

There's a guy who did that.

Let's do the instructions.

Bumbled up in multiple layers.

And, uh, first, he's just like a bag with, uh, water or vapor protection.

Yeah.

Try and stay warm.

Well, what happened was the water, the sweat, could then throw and the guy died overnight.

Oh my God.

So

you've got to have multiple, multiple

breathable layers.

Multiple breathable layers.

Okay, that's you're coming up with just great tips, aren't you?

This is something super serious and very near and dear to my heart.

I've actually worked out in this and it cost me several percent of the use of my hands because

I was asked to work out in 50 below weather when I should not have

been.

And I'm

like, you know what, no more am I gonna just tough it out and be the bad ass that I used to be.

Because

today

it's not possible.

It's not worth it.

No.

With the alcohol, that's a great tip.

And also the multiple breathable layers.

Another great tip.

And the Us Weekly and the Cosmo.

Those are probably what I would bring with me.

And maybe Bride magazine as well.

Yeah.

I just read that staff that 80% of the divorces are now being filed by women.

Well, maybe after we're done with the winter survival kit, we could do a divorce survival kit.

Yeah.

Oh, Jesus.

That's an easy one.

Don't get married.

Earlier today on the Winter Weather Wandom Wednesday, we were talking about the Wandom Word of the Day dongle.

And you know, I never realized there were so many types.

First, you got the plain dongle that just plugs right into your computer.

Now, if you want an accessory hanging from it, that is a dangle dongle.

And if that accessory

is a little bell, it's a jingle dongle.

Now if it's made with any material from a deep wooded dell, that's a dingle dongle.

And if your dongle is newly divorced, it's a single free-to-mingle dongle.

And if you want one with the works, make sure you ask for the free-to-mingle single dingle jingle dangle dongle.

Any questions?

If you were talking to the store clerk, if you messed up and they didn't give you the right one, would that be considered the wrungle dongle?

Yes.

Yeah, you don't want the wrungle dongle.

And don't want the wrungle dongle.

Right.

And if you ask for, say, a dangle dongle and they give you a jingle dangle dongle, that's the wrungle dongle.

That'd be like the wrungle jingle jingle dongle.

Right.

And it would really suck to have to return the dongle with the works, all of the jingle bells and whistles and stuff.

Cuz then you would have to say to the clerk, I'm sorry sir, but this free to mingle, single, dingle, jingle, dangle, dongle is the wrongledongle.

It has no dingle.

And then he says, well, I thought you said hold the dingle.

I didn't say anything about holding anything.

I didn't want a free to mingle, single, jingle, dangle, dongle.

I wanted the free to mingle, single, dingle, jingle, dangle, dongle.

And you gave me the wrongledongle.

Boy, that's... Now I feel like a wrongledongle.

All right, now go play with your dongle, will ya?

I'll see what I can do.

Weekday mornings, 5.30 to

10.