HIT AND RUN HEADLINES 11-19-2024

So I don't know if you knew this or not, but today is National Have a Bad Day Day.

Yeah, not a problem, replied every person not listening to the water's wake-up call.

Am I right?

Huh?

All right.

Yeah, National Have a Bad Day Day.

How is this not on a Sunday, asked Dallas Cowboy fans?

Did you know today is also World Toilet Day?

No wonder I'm flushed.

Yeah, World Toilet Day.

And if I haven't told you lately, on a scale of one to ten, you're an eight.

And the number one song for World Toilet Day is, hold on loosely, but don't let go.

If you cling too tightly, you'll lose control.

All right, moving on.

80 million Americans will travel for Thanksgiving.

And on the way home, 79 million of them will say, that doesn't, next year we're having Thanksgiving at home.

Paulina Brandberg, who by the way is Sweden's gender equality minister, is deathly afraid of bananas.

And I don't think we need to page Dr. Freud on this

one.

The French take the most vacation time of any country in the world.

You can't blame them.

I mean, surrendering is extremely stressful.

And they need to listen to a little yacht rock.

I think that would calm them down a little bit.

Spirit Airlines has filed for bankruptcy.

Employees of the company were upset, disgruntled, and surly, and then they found out about the bankruptcy.

Good lord.

J.Lo is ready to date again.

Oh, yes.

Or as divorce lawyers put it, ka-ching.

Producers say the next James Bond will be a man in his 30s, and anyone who still cares about James Bond will be a man in his 90s.

Mickey Mouse turned 96 yesterday, and something else that hit the 96-year mark at Disneyland, the wait time in the line for Space Mountain.

Ain't that the truth?

And you know, Mickey's at the age where people notice that Donald Duck

isn't the only character at Disneyland not wearing pants.

Pamela Anderson says skipping makeup makes her feel more like herself.

Here's hoping Madonna never wants to feel more like herself.

I'm kidding.

Kim Kardashian.

Kim Kardashian was ticketed for driving with, and this is a multiple choice, a, a tinted windshield.

B, expired tags, or C, all that junk in her trunk.

Ah, thank

you very much.

That's all I got.