Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
Department?
going to a church and we were doing a baptism.
I would always help the pastor.
They would dip him down in the water, you know, and I'd be there to catch their head or whatever.
And the last lady, she got done.
He had a wireless mic and he said some words and they took her down the water and then she stood back up and they go one way and he had to pass her one the other way.
He had forgot to turn off the mic and nobody could see us, but they could all hear it.
And he said, man, that gal's got big.
Good lord.
is it literally good lord
was
the fallout after
that
Back in the 80s, in middle school dances, I was really getting into this song and just dancing and guess who ran into the speakers and knocked one over.
Let me think.
Some kid you'd never seen before.
Exactly, I wish it would have been some kid I'd never seen
before.
Oh, okay, so you're dancing like nobody's watching.
You hit the speakers and I'll bet everybody was watching then, weren't they?
Oh yeah, it was a big bang and I just kind of stood there and...
Were you done dancing for the evening?
Well
for a while
what song were you dancing to
the sad part is I can't even remember
I think the one thing that story, you just have to come up with a song.
Booing your butt by Eddie
Murphy.
You boogered your butt right into the speakers.
Back in the 70s, what Streakin was really hot, there was a bar that was offering $50 if you come Streak the Bar.
So I thought, what the heck, I can use $50.
So I go out to the bar, I come walking in the front door, take off running for the back door, and there's that my mom and grandpa.
That was kind of awkward.
Oh man, that is awesome.
I can't imagine a more awkward moment than Ding Dong Streakin' into
his mom and grandma.
Right, I didn't stop to talk to him.
No, so I'm assuming they saw you.
Oh yeah.
Did you hear about it later, Ding Dong?
What happened?
What was
the
aftermath of the ding-dong escapade?
I didn't get my $50, so I didn't stop to collect it.
And where would you have put it?
This is when my son was little, when Bob the Builder came out.
Yeah, I heard all of these beepers when the vehicles back up.
We were in Aldi's in the checkout.
There was a heavier set lady in front of us, and it was still in the age of pagers.
Okay.
The pager went off.
My little three-year-old screams at the top of his lungs.
Watch out.
She's backing up.
Oh, no!
Did you have to talk with this lady at all?
Did she look back and, you know, insulted and disgusted?
Luckily, she had a really good sense of humor, and she was just smiling.
She didn't really say much, but she was at least smiling.
My daughter was three years old.
at church.
The drinking fountain right outside of our church nursery was low enough for the little kids to get a drink, but it would overshoot the fountain sometimes if you weren't careful.
Okay.
She went to get a drink, it overshot, and she looked up and went, well, s***.
Oh no!
Just then the pastor walked around the corner, and my mom stepped out of the church kitchen, and he looked at my mom and said, I wonder where she...
That
before.
Oh, no.
It never fails.
Your kid's gonna swear no matter where they heard it from, maybe another friend or another friend's parent or maybe you or who knows?
Yeah, my mom, she was a well s***.
Oh,
thanks for sharing that.
I
love,
by the way, I love when couples tell a story when the guy's telling a story and the wife is right there.
She's always correct.
She always knows the real story, yet here we are telling it.
But anyway, I just wanted to say that.
Go
ahead.
So this dope was
implying that your stepdaughter was your wife.
I'll bet she felt more awkward than anybody else.
Well, if somebody mistook me as your wife, I would have run screaming out of there.
Bloody murder.
I can only imagine you in a dress.
I've got pictures.
Beautiful.
All in oats.
Happy Monday.
How are you?
Well, just peachy.
It's Monday, Monday.
Monday, Monday.
If there's one person I would say is about as awkward and dopey as I am, it'd be you, hollanoats.
Yeah, I would agree with
that.
So I know you've told me some awkward moments.
Maybe it involves one of those, maybe it's something new.
What do you got?
Well, I got something awkward, but I know it's a family show, so I need to try to make sure I say this as... Sanitized as possible?
Yes, thank you.
Yes,
okay, good.
This
has been over 20 years ago.
I was hauling corn syrup and I was coming back up the Cedar Rapids on 380 there and this car and he's just swerving back and forth, swerving back and forth.
And you know, he almost took me out.
I had to take the shoulder.
I'm like, what's going on with this guy for gosh sakes?
And so I'm trying to make sure I'm not going to get hit.
And so he's slowing down again, so I decided to kind of pass up by him.
How do I say, and looking down, there's a sunroof there.
How do I say... Let's just say the episode of Seinfeld, when George comes in and says... The contest?
I'm never doing that again.
The contest?
And doing, yes.
I was
Yeah.
Wow.
And I don't think this guy had a glamour magazine either, hello.
Yeah, well, you should
never wax your
Winnebago while you're driving a car.
No.
No.
And so, so then he speeds up in front of me, cuts me off and gets off onto the rest area.
Cut you off.
Maybe he was circumcised.
Weekday mornings, 5.30 to
Ah,
apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station apartments.
Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer, internet included, a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
