HIT AND RUN HEADLINES: MONDAY, 2-26-2024

Apple is warning people to stop putting wet iPhones in bags of rice.

Instead, if your phone gets wet, Apple says you should just buy three new ones.

There are now smart earrings that track body temperature.

Or you can avoid looking like an idiot and just use a rectal thermometer.

That's what I suggest.

I think that's a no-brainer.

Three people on Long Island stole $640 worth of ice cream from a 7-Eleven.

Authorities said if they keep up their life of crime, they are on a rocky road to nowhere.

Rocky road?

Well, all the jokes can't be good.

You've got to expect that once in a while.

Good point.

Keep that in mind.

AT&T says last week's massive outage was caused by an internal glitch.

AT&T, the Southwest Airlines of phone

companies.

For the first time in 50 years, America has a vehicle on the moon.

It's a self-driving Tesla that was aiming for downtown Cleveland, but still.

No, it's the Odysseus Lunar Lander.

It began transmitting from the moon, which tells me the Odysseus Lunar Lander does not use AT&T.

At one point, at one point, the lunar lander tipped over on the moon's surface.

And even though it's laying on its side, it can still communicate.

So basically Odysseus is like David Hasselhoff after happy hour.

Chicago is only behind New York City in a ranking of noisiest cities in the US.

The top reasons for all the noise in Chicago are the nonstop gunfire and the deafening booing of the bears.

Scientists are using AI to decode what whales are communicating.

And once they find out what the whales are saying, they can then try it with Vin Diesel.

Taylor Swift has now banned Travis Kelsey from going to strip clubs, and she spent a half million dollars on a new wardrobe for him.

So apparently Travis is in the whipped era, whether he knows it or not.

Our company wants to pay someone $2,000 to watch all 10 best picture nominees, which will take you about the same amount of time as watching the actual Oscars.

And finally, the WWE held its elimination chamber event on Saturday.

And speaking of elimination chambers, does anyone in the office want to make a taco bell run?

Anybody?

Anybody?

That's all I got.

Light waters with a waterswake of calm on WoW 5.7, KOKZ, Iowa's classic games.