Hey waters here from the waters wake up call hope you're enjoying your long Thanksgiving weekend on had a great short week Oh, and I had a great short week Monday morning.
We were talking about all the weird Thanksgiving side dishes we've experienced in all of our Thanksgiving travels All
right,
well lay your absurdity on me
I've
heard of the potatoes but never the cauliflower.
What are twice baked cauliflower
like?
She takes a head of cauliflower, poils it, and then she matches it up with sour cream, cream cheese, bacon, chives, and cheddar cheese.
She throws it back in the oven, and then...
Really
the thing that makes it so good is gotta be all that cheese.
Right.
You know that sounds pretty good.
Go through the whole recipe so maybe I can make it for Mrs. Waters and surprise
her.
Okay.
Bake it twice
and put a lot of cheese and sour cream on it and stuff.
Yes.
Well, thanks for that, man.
We may have to try that this year.
Oh, that
can't be good.
That can't be good.
It was good.
All right.
Well, to me, it sounds absurd.
So what else is in this stuff other than carrots and raisins?
I think like evaporated milk and mayonnaise
evaporated milk mayonnaise raisins and carrots I've always had kind of this aversion to raisins.
I mean, that's that's a lot of it But so you can put grapes instead of raisins.
Oh, they're still great grapes I know are you know shriveled up raisins or whatever they are but a lot of people say well, it's just grapes Yeah, well, it doesn't taste like grapes, but yeah, I've never heard of anybody who has
raisin carrot salad.
My family also did scalloped oysters.
Really?
Yeah.
I'll bet you're the only other person in the world unless you know somebody else.
I don't.
I just know we did it on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.
Oh, you had it three times a year.
I
had a grandfather and two uncles that loved scalloped oysters.
Well, that probably helped.
For us, it was only me and my mother.
Everybody else thought, hey, scalloped oysters.
Who wants that crap?
They went for the other stuff, you know?
They went for the easy potatoes and stuffing and 23 bean salad and all of that.
Yeah,
my family did scallop
toasters.
Just the mention of those tasty little things is making my mouth water.
So much I could join the Salvation Army.
Because they're so appetizing.
Like any appetizer, it increases your appetite and the hungrier you get.
So I think that's why eventually, if you ate too much, you'd die of starvation, I think.
So that's what got me to
stop.
married my wife when they would have Thanksgiving dinner they cooked the full turkey the full spread
yeah
but then they cook another meal for supper
now that's absurd so
you have a full Thanksgiving dinner at 12 or one o'clock
yeah
and then at five or six you're having like soup or a roast or a whole different dinner no leftovers
this is your wife's family
this is my wife's family
and it's
taking me
Over the years, I said, you know, this looks kind of weird, but that's what they do.
Usually you have Thanksgiving dinner around two or three and eat a bunch.
And then maybe if you get hungry, you have some leftovers later.
And I think that's what's normally done.
That is the normal way to do it.
Yeah.
My family would do the big dinner and then we would lay all day and just have turkey sandwiches or what you wanted to eat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've got to do a whole new meal for Thanksgiving with the
family.
Hey, I just wanted to tell you what we make as a side
dish.
Ooh, good.
Is it absurd?
Is it weird?
It is weird.
Good.
What is
it?
It's oyster stuffing.
You know what?
We do scalloped oysters.
Oh, really?
Oyster stuffing.
I'll bet that's pretty stinking good.
It is good.
You know, I'm sure it's good, as well as absurd and weird.
Yeah, I'm aware of it.
Back on Tuesday, you gave me a lot of help building a Turkey Tunes playlist.
Believe it's on YouTube.
It's by Duke Tomato.
Okay.
And it's called Eat Me.
I'm a Turkey.
Google, eat me.
I'm a turkey.
It'll come right up.
Yeah, I've already got it.
Oh, yeah, just hilarious.
You know, I'll have to find that and play a little bit.
Maybe we'll do a little appetizer.
Hey, do you know who this is?
Dad?
No.
My sister, Shirley?
No.
No, I don't know.
This is your friendly sound hock.
Well, I'm glad you're not sound turkey this time of year.
Otherwise, I probably wouldn't be talking to you.
No, and actually, I have a friend called the Wild Turkey Hock.
Is there such a thing?
I know there's a chicken hock.
I guess I've never heard of a turkey
hock.
the drummer and we've called him the
Wild Turkey High.
All right.
Well, now I'm excited to hear this eating me.
I'm a turkey by Duke Tomato.
I'm going to love it.
We are having our family here out at the farm and just going to enjoy some family time and food.
Oh, yes.
We're going to be smoking a turkey.
That sounds good.
How about alcohol?
Breaking in the new bar we just built.
So you're going to be drinking cocktails and smoking turkey
right
on.
That sounds like a total stoner moved.
Well, maybe not stoner, but yeah, we'll be stuffed.
That's for sure.
Dude, you want to come over?
I'm smoking turkey.
I'm higher than a giblet.
Great.
You
wonder my wings don't fly.
No, as God as my witness, I thought they could fly.
How's it rolling?
It's rolling like turkey bowling.
What can I tell you?
All right.
Hey, add something to this turkey tune playlist, will you?
Legs by ZZ Top.
Yeah.
I think yesterday I called it drumsticks, so let's call it drumsticks turkey drumsticks And how about the final count down by Europe and we'll dedicate that to the timer?
That's kind of sad, but it works That works awesome man rock on rock on crouton and put that in your Thanksgiving salad and smoke it going in there right now hot dog No, I don't like hot dog Weeners
Yes!
Everybody's heard about the bird.
And I have to ask you, have you ever seen the Family Guy episode featuring that
song?
You know, there's something brilliant about Seth MacFarlane who does Family Guy.
He can take something, a bit, and stretch it so far that you go from thinking it's funny, to thinking it's frustrating, to thinking it's funny again.
He's just got some way of doing that that works.
Yeah.
Good morning,
Mr. Waters.
How are you
doing?
Doing pretty good, Hawaiian.
How are you this fine morning?
I
am doing well.
Thank goodness.
I was calling about your Thanksgiving time.
I've never, ever had to cook a Thanksgiving dinner.
Really?
Because I was lucky enough to be born on Thanksgiving, so somebody always takes care of it for me.
Well, sure.
So what is your birthday?
What day is your birthday?
Actually, this year it is Thanksgiving.
So happy the birth Thanksgiving day.
Yes, I'm a bird.
I'm a turkey, you know.
Yeah, you're the bird, the Hawaiian bird.
That's it.
Well, happy early birthday, Hawaiian.
Thank
you.
Yeah.
I do have a thing about the cranberries.
Yeah.
I like the canned one, but my best friend makes the best cranberries from homemade.
Of course,
there's a
lot of bourbon involved with that, and it's really good
though.
Well, of course.
You put alcohol into something, and really, it doesn't matter.
People just think it tastes good.
Well, yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
It's my favorite.
I
got it.
You'll be cranberry pickled in no time.
Exactly.
Yes.
Well, good morning, Mr. Waters.
How are we doing today?
I'm doing pretty good there, Breva County Big Man.
What's the hot action on this Tuesday morning?
Just driving to work.
Just driving to work.
Yeah.
What did you think about my imitation of
you?
That was pretty good.
I didn't
know.
You sound like you're excited today.
Oh, I'm still sleeping, Bob.
Well, in that case, you're sound asleep, but the voice you are hearing has got you in a hypnotic trance.
So when you wake up, you will be compelled to go to your bank and withdraw all
the money and bring it over to the KOKZ studio and give Mike Waters every cent.
Okay, that's like three cents.
Okay, better than nothing.
At
least they got a little more than
my two cents worth.
Yes you did, you got three cents worth.
That's right.
Yeah, as long as you don't get six cents worth and see dead people.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, some of my older relatives, when they come over, that's kind of how I feel.
The sixth sense.
He ain't heavy by the Hollies.
He ain't heavy.
He's my brother.
Well, he might be after Thanksgiving dinner.
Well, yeah.
He's heavier anyway.
He's heavier.
He's my brother at Thanksgiving.
But he's still my brother.
I'm not saying he's not your brother.
I'm just saying he may be heavy.
That's the only thing that might change with the with the festivities.
But then again, I guess if I'm there, I'm probably heavier too.
So he doesn't look any heavier because you have gained just as much weight.
Yeah, we'll go with that.
Yeah, we're both heavier and he happens to be my brother.
There we go.
I always go for the breast.
There you go.
Look at that.
Yeah, I
think I was just talking with someone about alcohol and Thanksgiving.
Especially if you got relatives coming.
Here's what I could do.
I could play brandy with a tequila chaser.
No, I think you do tequila with a brandy chaser.
I think that's how that would work.
Yeah, either way.
Either way, we've got a couple of drinks coming.
Good morning.
Well, good morning.
What can I do for you turkey tunes?
We could play smoking for the people who are smoking turkey.
There you go.
You get quite a buzz from smoking the turkey.
The tryptophan hits you quicker.
I
think that's how they work.
That'll be our saying grace for the turkey tunes.
There you go.
Wednesday I obviously needed some help with the Thanksgiving etiquette tips.
Thanks for that.
There's one little joke that we...
Don't eat so fast
it's already dead.
It's like what are you doing?
That's just common sense
Personally
I like to keep the elbows handy just in case one of the relatives
on my left or right gets inappropriate or does something I disagree with, then I can just boom elbow them and we can move on with dinner.
Hey,
it's going pretty good.
Better now that you're calling, of course.
Come on, it's Thanksgiving.
Politeness is part of my Thanksgiving etiquette.
Do they need a little discussion on how to be
polite?
Your feet go underneath your chair, and when you're passing, you pass left.
Or clockwise if you're in a circle.
And when it's over, you let dad get up first so we can find the recliner to watch football.
Sounds like a winner to
me.
There's a winner chicken dinner.
Winner winner turkey dinner.
Okay.
No.
Winner winner turkey dinner, Leonard Skinner free bird.
Hey!
Yeah, do you have something to add to our etiquette list?
What
happens?
Maybe some kind of a penalty?
Does the hammer come down or maybe an anvil land on your head?
Or you get mocked.
So who am I speaking with?
Owen.
So you're going to school today or you're home for
Thanksgiving vacation
Thanksgiving break up and grandpa.
Well, I'm sure grandpa appreciates that Owen.
Yeah.
Are you the one who calls people out if they're chewing with their mouth open?
Yeah.
You know what people should also not do with their mouth open?
Say stupid things.
So yes, you were close.
Whether their mouth is full of food or not, don't say something stupid with your mouth open.
Mm-hmm.
There you're talking with your mouth closed.
Very nice.
Very nicely done.
You need to add one more to your list.
Please.
Right along with that, yeah.
Right along with that 200-year-old mouth open thing, which is my pet peeve.
Yes.
Some of that shit is more annoying.
are the people that back their tongue and their
teeth.
That's disgusting is what that is.
And then they'll talk to you.
They'll chew and then they'll talk to you with that mouth full of food.
And it's just a disgusting display.
They just want it as far away from you as they can possibly go.
What about the kids table?
Yeah, or outside in the yard.
I think that's the better idea.
They belong in the kids table.
And the kids table, hopefully, if you're smart is out in the yard.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, sure.
Weekday mornings, 5 30 to
10.
