Who used all the Wi-Fi?
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Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
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Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
Hey,
Waters here from the Waters Wake Up Call.
Hope you're having a great weekend.
Friday was National Farm Joke Day and did we have a crop of
those?
Hey!
Hey!
Happy Friday to you!
I'm an OR nurse, and this is Kerri Operative Nurses Week, so I want to give a shout out to all my fellow OR nurses.
Absolutely.
A gigantic shout out to the OR nurses, and thanks for what you do.
Thank you.
Yeah.
This isn't exactly a farmer's joke, but I grew up on a farm.
My dad's a farmer, my brother is a farmer, and I got my dad a sweatshirt, and it said, without farmers, we'd all be naked, husbandry, and sober.
Oh, that sounds like a terrible, terrible way to live life.
Right?
It does.
Exactly.
So we've got to give a shout out to all the farmers.
Yes, the farmers and the OR nurses.
Absolutely.
Exactly.
Again, thank you for what you do and thanks for what your dad and your brothers do.
You guys are
just a
kick-ass family, it sounds like.
That we are.
Hey, how's my buddy
Mike?
Hey, happy farm joke day, Farmer Dave.
Yeah, but I just don't have to have one for ya.
Oh, well of course you do.
I'd be surprised if you
didn't.
Are you ready?
Yes, I am ready.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
What do you call a sleeping bull?
Could it be a bulldozer?
Oh, you ruined it for me.
No
way, okay, we'll do it
again.
Say
it again, Farmer Dave.
Say it again.
Okay.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
Sleeping bull.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
I don't even know what to guess.
You don't?
Nope.
Never heard this
one.
A bulldozer.
A bulldozer?
Yeah!
If that was a good,
that's a good fake laugh too.
You're good.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Well, have you heard what the cow's favorite pastime is?
The
cow's favorite pastime.
Probably doing something in the past year.
Listening to music.
Listening to music.
Music.
You got it.
That's utterly insane, D-Man.
Uh, utterly... I won't solve my.
Yes, you are.
I guess you would call that teat for tat.
There you go.
Thanks, D-Man.
You keep on rockin', brother.
Rock and crouton.
What do they have hooves?
Why?
Because they lack toes.
Because they lack toes.
And they're very lactose tolerant too.
And they have to be because they lack toes.
If you lack toes, you have to be lactose tolerant.
You have to be tolerant of the fact that you lack the toes.
Yeah, I don't know.
That just spewed out.
It spewed out like sour milk is what that did.
So why does a chicken think he's
funny?
Why does a chicken think he's funny?
Because...
I know
it's
so
lame, but it is so funny.
It is.
It's a great farm joke.
Um, I'm not, I'm not feeling that for you.
I'm feeling like, oh my God, this is like the worst joke I've ever had.
No.
I like, no, it's
great.
Yes!
There isn't really anything to say after that, is there?
No, other than...
Bye!
Alright, we'll talk to you later, Mike.
Have a great day.
How do you get a touch girl's attention?
I would have no idea.
A tractor.
Oh, a tractor!
You know what would happen if you told that country girl that joke?
What's that?
She'd write you a John Deere letter.
You get it?
Not your John letter, a
John Deere letter.
Yes, I got it.
Okay.
Ready for the upcoming holiday?
Well, you know I am, but I don't know if my cardiovascular system is with all the turkey and the fixings and the sweets.
My wife made cookies the other day and she asked if I was gonna take something to work and I said no.
She said why?
Don't you like them?
You're done if you do, and you're done if you
don't.
Of course I like them, that's why I'm not gonna give them all away to everybody.
I want these
to myself.
Right?
That's what you should tell her next time.
If there is a next time.
Maybe she won't make me any cookies anymore.
Yeah, maybe she'll write you a John Deere letter.
A
John Deere
letter.
No, I guess it'd be a Deere John letter, because we're done with the tractor, aren't we?
That joke has gone the way of the dodo.
This farmer was out in a...
Oh, that's never good.
Okay.
of that field over there.
Right.
So the farmer goes back to work and the agent takes off and pretty soon the farmer hears this awful squealing holler and carrying on and the farmer looks out to see what's going on and hears the bull chasing this agent across the field and the farmer hollers.
Show him your card!
Show him your card!
Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?
Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?
Because the corn has ears.
I don't know.
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
I was half right.
You were.
You were close.
Give me another ear in
Iowa and you'll know that.
Mr. Waters, my name is Gino.
How are you this morning?
Gino, I'm good.
What's happening, man?
Thanks
for making
me laugh every morning.
I appreciate that, Gino.
Absolutely.
Cool, cool.
All right, let's hear your farm joke.
Somebody just said, but they didn't go all the way.
The reason why you don't tell secrets in Iowa?
Yeah.
The corn has ears.
Beanstalk and the cows herds.
Weekday mornings 5 30 to
10.
