Diamond David Lee Roth turned 69 today and nowadays for Dave, it's more like mall walking with the devil.
Today is World Mental Health Day.
Britney's team started their celebration last night by hiding all the knives.
So Applebee's Dollar Readers are back.
You excited?
They only cost you a dollar.
Well, a dollar in your dignity if someone sees you drinking one in an Applebee's, but... NASA wants a moon colony by 2040.
A moon colony.
They plan to call it Moonhattan.
No?
Uh, Mooneyapolis?
No?
All right.
Uh, Almuna.
Oh, come on!
I thought of at least if I traveled to Iowa.
How about...
Demoon.
Okay.
How about let me try one more since I'm on a I'm on a roll.
Montana.
All right.
I could do this all day, but fine.
A study has found frequent marijuana users are more likely to develop schizophrenia.
When they heard the news, pot smokers were both stoked and bummed.
The most popular alcoholic drinks in America are beer, hard liquor, and red wine.
By the way, those are also the three ingredients in David Hasselhoff's breakfast smoothie.
Time released a list of next generation leaders.
They're mostly people in their 20s, which means they can be president in a century.
Police in Orlando are looking for a murder suspect who is missing parts of all four limbs.
So far, they're stumped.
Australia plans to build the world's tallest wooden skyscraper.
Hey, I've played enough Jenga to know it's never a good idea to stack wood that high.
Norwegian Cruise Lines, adding nearly 1,000 cabins to its ships for travelers sailing by themselves.
And it's adding 20,000 new toilets for travelers who get food poisoning, because that's what happens.
According to a new report, since 2021, Americans have lost $2.7 billion from social media scams.
On the bright side, I just got an email from a Nigerian prince who promised to protect me from scams if I send him my social security number, so I did.
St.
Louis was named the least safe city in the country, but San Francisco is still the least safe city if you're a bottle of head and shoulders at a Walgreens.
Ozzy released a Halloween playlist that consists of 69 scary tracks, but the most horrifying of them all
is a 60-second audio clip of Sharon screaming at him for leaving the mayo on the counter.
Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy.
So Arnold Schwarzenegger gets sad watching his body age.
Hey, man, it happens to all of us.
Well, maybe not Cher, but the rest of us.
The most famous supermodels in history appear on the cover of this month's Vanity Fair, and the issue pays tribute to cocaine.
Ridley Scott's director's cut of Napoleon is more than four hours long.
Having to sit through a four-hour period piece would definitely be my Waterloo.
And I don't mean Waterloo Iowa.
So, AI has been used to generate an image of John Lennon if you're alive today at the age of 83.
The users of this technology just simply ask the AI to imagine all the wrinkles.
Yeah.
I think on that note, I gotta be
