Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
Well,
hey there.
It's Mike Waters from the Waters Wake Up Call.
This morning, Wednesday morning, we were celebrating National Stupid Guy thing day because guys are idiots and idiots do stupid things, so there you go.
And that is actually a direct quote from a study with this British medical journal they had done a few years ago.
They basically found that men are idiots and idiots do stupid things.
They took all these Darwin award winners and they went through 380 some of these and 88% were guys Darwin awards you do something so stupid it takes your life and Then you win a Darwin award.
It's all posthumous, of course So guys are stupid.
That's all you need to know about that In fact, I've got some really good guy stories from from women and guys That's all coming up also the hit-and-run headlines the five things you didn't know yet
needed to hear, and we should kick off the water's wake up call morning meltdown like we do every morning.
Let's look on the bright side with Mike Waters on World Five Seven K-O-K-Z.
Sponsored by Walham
Collision Center.
So I want to tell you about this firefighter, and firefighters are our heroes anyway.
But this guy, this firefighter, third day on the job, and he was on his way to work.
during his first week as a brand new firefighter with the Manchester by the sea fire department north of Baston.
Shane Stevenson, he spotted a vehicle that had crashed into a tree and burst into flames.
And although he was only on his third day as a firefighter, his 13 years of experience as an EMT told him that he needed to do something to help the victim.
So Stevenson just immediately pulled over and his main goal
was to make sure the occupants of the vehicle were safely out of harm's way.
And he says, and I'm quoting, so you kind of go up and make sure everybody's doing the right thing and kind of help and give some direction where you can.
So this rookie firefighter put his own safety concerns aside, which is what heroes do, and he approached the car fire, pulling the driver out and moving them a safe distance from the fire.
So he then notified his lieutenant that he might be a few minutes late to work.
He had a great excuse, by the way.
So Stevenson doesn't think what he did was out of the ordinary saying, anybody else would have done the same thing.
No, not anybody else.
Everybody else would not have done the same thing.
So the driver is expected to make a full recovery in no small part thanks to Mr. Hero Firefighter Stevenson.
His firehouse leader took the social media to praise his actions, writing, nice work, Shane.
Indeed, nice work, Shane.
Shane Stevenson, firefighter with the Manchester by the Sea Fire Department on his third day saved a life.
Way to go, Shane Stevenson.
There is a bright side sponsored by Walton Collision Center on Highway 151 in Fairfax.
Walton Collision Center, where quality is their priority.
I ask you what would we do without heroes
You don't have an answer, do you?
No, I don't either.
Hey, before we get into head and run headlines, we should get a stupid guy thing story, but we'll do that.
We'll get a couple of those right after.
We check in with my latest and greatest sponsor, just lining my pockets with cash.
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Now see that's a great idea.
I wish I'd thought of that.
So since we're celebrating National Stupid Guy Thing Day today, let's get some examples of these stupid things guys do because remember men are idiots and idiots do stupid things.
I was fairly freshly married and I called my wife one night at work and I said, hey, where are the Band-Aids?
And she said, what did you do?
Seems like she already knew something stupid had been going on.
I was outside cutting wood with the chainsaw in the dark.
Oh.
And I reached down to grab a piece of wood and I caught my thumb in the end of the chain.
In the
dark?
Yeah, you know, the things you're not supposed to do.
Turn the end of my thumb into a hamburger.
When she finally took me to the hospital, the nurse looked at it and says, what on earth were you doing?
And I told her and she just shook her head.
I
don't know if you heard me talking about the
male idiot theory?
No, I didn't.
There is an actual study.
They looked at past winners of the Darwin Awards.
It looked at about 318 cases.
88.7% were men.
It's science.
Of course.
Well, actually, it was my stupid uncle's story.
My mother told me when they were young and they lived in the country on a big dairy farm, they decided that they were going to make their own airplane
they had a brother that was serving in World War II.
And so they made their
airplane and put it on the roof of the garage and put their younger brother in it and pushed it off
oh that is just plain stupid
yeah it was and they couldn't figure out why it wouldn't fly well little brother broke his collarbone and how old were they when they did this
Uh, probably about 10 or 12.
You know, I- I hope since then they've seen YouTube and all of the people who tried to figure out how to fly before the Wright brothers figured it out.
crazy contraptions, the bike.
Oh, I know.
The bike thing where you peddle and the- the wings flap and- Yeah.
The one that had the- it looked like the umbrella that went around and it all went up and down.
Yes, I know that one too.
Absolutely.
I don't know if anybody's gonna beat that story.
They also pulled another good one.
They had a train track that went through the pasture and they got the bright idea there was a...
A bunch of railroad ties laying there.
They thought they would stack the railroad ties on the track, and they derailed the train in the pasture.
Oh, wow.
That's, you know what?
I didn't think it could get worse, but it got worse.
Yeah.
Good lord.
They were nasty little buggers.
So we have planes, we have trains.
Do we have any automobiles in any of these stories?
Well, no, but they one time hooked the cat milk pan to the electric sensor.
and every time the cat would take a lick he'd get a shock and
make the
hair stand up on
it.
Geez.
What kind of... So these are your uncles?
My mom grew up in a large family.
Well they say if you have a lot of kids the brains are spread a little bit thin.
Or they're not, or they don't have anything to do so they just get into, get into crap that they shouldn't get into.
So you got the plane, you got the train, and then you got the electrified cat.
So did the cat live?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
My mom told me the cat got to the point where he figured out he could look in between the pulses of electricity.
That's great.
Your uncles.
Thanks for the stories, man.
Yeah, my pleasure.
Thank you.
I'm ashamed of my gender sometimes.
Let's take a break from the calls and go to the hidden run headlines.
Imagine the headlines.
What headlines are we talking about?
Hidden run.
Hey, today is the first day of summer.
You can tell because Target just put up their Halloween displays.
A new study finds the young Americans are lazier than older ones.
It was conducted by the University of, ah, these kids today.
I don't know if you've ever heard of that university.
The US and China have pledged to repair relations between our two countries.
As a gesture of goodwill, China will allow us to buy advertising space on the next spy balloon they send over.
That's quite generous.
Boston has been named the best place to live without a car.
Mainly because if you live there, you're going to want to be drunk all the time.
Today is National Selfie Day, or as the Kardashian and Jenner sisters know it, Wednesday.
Heinz is introducing ketchup packets with designs inspired by all 50 states.
And your mom plans to keep all of them in a drawer with napkins from takeout restaurants.
May the force be with you has been ranked the most famous Star Wars quote of all time.
Meanwhile, the most disastrous Star Wars quote was, hey George, this is Disney.
How'd you like another $4 billion?
Not good.
Denise Richards makes $2 million a month on OnlyFans.
$1.5 million is from a mysterious account called Charlie Cheen.
Rod Stewart is selling his Los Angeles mansion.
It includes a pool, tennis courts, and a very large backyard where his mullet can roam free.
The TV show White Lotus has reportedly made people want to travel more.
Meanwhile, the show Below Deck has made people want to make fun of cruise ship workers more.
Harrison Ford cried while discussing the last time he's playing Indiana Jones.
And he teared up, by the way, because he had just read some reviews of the new movie.
Sharks attacked a Netflix crew that was filming a Nature docuseries.
Experts say they did it because they were mad about having to pay more to share their passwords.
You get them, Sharks.
Chris Allen, winner of Season 8 of American Idol, turns 38 today.
And if you have no idea who he is, that's because he won Season 8 of American Idol.
The Kansas City Chief Super Bowl rings contain over 600 diamonds.
I haven't seen something that rich and shiny since Jeff Bezos.
And finally, some women who competed in the European sex championships say they got screwed.
So that's a good thing or a bad
thing?
I don't know, but that's
all I got.
Before we get into the five things, let's get into another stupid guy thing call.
you blow on hot things to keep it keep it from getting too hot in your mouth right while I blow on ice cream
you blew on ice cream now did anybody see you blow on ice cream yes yes my wife okay
I'm
dying I'm dying to know what your wife said as you were blowing on ice cream so it wasn't too hot entering your mouth
She goes, what the heck are you doing?
And
you said it.
And
I realized what I was actually doing.
And I'm like, I said, never mind.
Never?
Nothing.
Nothing, honey.
That's usually what I say if it's something embarrassing.
Nothing,
honey.
I'm fine.
Don't come in the
room.
I'm all good.
Yeah.
So that was my most embarrassing time.
And it's happened more than once.
And I don't know.
I just don't catch it or whatever.
I
thinking it's too hot for my mouth or something.
Well,
maybe you could have told your wife, yeah, it's just, it's not as cold as I'd like it to be.
So you're blowing on it to cool it off even more.
That's for next time.
Yes, Mike.
Will you have a good day?
Keep a good workout.
Thanks for that, you weirdo!
Anyway, you may want to blow on these five things because they're hot,
baby.
Now, the water's wake up call with this morning's five things you didn't know you needed to hear.
So without further ado, thing one!
So let's talk about that submarine that has gone missing.
That is just... It's insane.
Here's this submarine.
uh touring a disaster ship and they have may have become some kind of a disaster themselves i really hope they still find these people uh but this international team of experts racing against time to find the ocean gate submersible and its five occupants david pogh who does technology reports for cbs he got to go under
The surface in the sub and he noted several red flags talking about it being and I was talking this about this earlier being Jerry rigged or MacGyver'd
Second
thing does this a I think it's just moving so fast.
Isn't it?
It just it seemed to have we heard something about it
What?
Like three days ago, right?
Now it's taking over everything.
So a robot's now going to be picking the songs we get to hear.
I certainly hope not.
There's a new AI and supposedly it can predict whether a song will be a hit or not with 97% accuracy.
When researchers combine this data they say their AI could accurately predict how many streams a song would get on apps like Spotify.
So in the future you could do the same thing yourself.
Teach an app what kind of music you like and it could feed you just the stuff it knows you'll be into.
Don't you miss?
discovering new things maybe that maybe you have to acquire a taste for or I don't know it just seems wrong and there's also talk about how it could up-end shows like American Idol do away with the judges and and just have AI predicting who's gonna be the big star so I don't know yeah maybe I sound like an old man but I don't like this technology stuff I don't like it one bit
Give us the
third thing.
I'm suspicious.
I'm very suspicious.
All right.
And speaking of technology, Domino's has now launched Anywhere Pizza Delivery.
Anywhere in the United States.
I'm going to say everywhere.
They're talking everywhere.
And it's adding this service.
And it's called Pinpoint Delivery.
Customers will not have to give the pizza chain an address.
they'll be able to just drop a pin on a map and they say this will be helpful for people say enjoying a day at the park or the beach where an exact location may be tough to find or let's say I'm swimming in the middle of an ocean and I want a pizza maybe Domino's can get on a ship and bring me a pizza okay that's probably stretching it a little far but
still
So if you take naps, you have a bigger brain.
That's right.
That's right.
So even stupid guys, I guess, could have a bigger brain if they napped.
And if you need an excuse to take a nap, well, that's a pretty good one, I would say, because this new study found nappers tend to have bigger brains.
Their brains do not shrink as fast as they get older.
So these researchers, they looked at DNA samples and brain scans of more than 35,000 people between 40 and 70, and they found a noticeable difference between nappers and non-nappers.
Napper's brains were slightly bigger, the equivalent of two and a half to six and a half years worth of shrinkage.
And again, that's brain, not the other shrinkage, just the shrinkage of brain.
And the study didn't show causation, just correlation, meaning the brains of people who take naps seem to age more slowly, but still not clear if it's because they nap or if there's some other reason.
So I hope that's as vague as I can possibly get.
And
finally?
Oh, finally.
The most I've been waiting for.
And the fifth thing you should know.
Oh, it's it's always so hard to find find the The last one because there's so much stuff Going on.
How about this?
I think you really need to hear this If you point a laser at a plane and there are some idiots who do that stupid guys and stupid others Pointing a laser at an airplane is a serious crime that will put you in prison
So this is an airline pilot with a story of how fast the FBI reacted when one was pointed at her during a flight.
So listen to her talking about this.
Do you think it's funny to shoot a laser at an airplane?
It's not.
I was getting lasered, so it's a green laser that flashes and they try to blind the pilot.
I think people think it's funny.
I just put my head down with my passenger and just flew by the instruments and then I let LaGuardia Tower know that we're getting lasered right now and then they've just vectored us back home.
The FBI called me.
They narrowed it down within a .3 mile radius of the top of the building that someone was shooting the laser at me.
They will find you.
You will go to jail.
You'll go to jail.
And some people think oh, this will be a funny prank.
They'll wonder where the lasers coming from you could blind them They could crash so I guess the lesson there is just don't do that.
Okay, and thanks in advance.
I think that's five things
Okay,
and before we wrap up the waters wake up call morning meltdown We can't leave without giving you some more stupid guy things so let's
Let's hear your stupid thing.
What do you got?
Good.
So having boys is like, uh, and more than a few in the house, a lot of diminishing returns.
The more boys you have in the house, the stupider things they do.
So today is my youngest son's 33rd birthday and I recall him a few days, New Year's Eve, a few days after I brought a whole new pants that going out with his buddies or walking up and down the street banging spoons and stuff against
my brand new cookware.
And another time my daughter had guys at the house, they're all standing around.
And I had a brand new knife set and a brand new ceramic sink.
And they were tossing apples in the air and like trying to slice them.
And at the same time, one boy like, okay, he's on a down swing.
He took my knife and hit the sink and not only chipped the new sink,
But he also chipped my new knife.
I'm surprised your son, with that kind of sense, has made it to 33.
Yeah, and he's a physician's assistant, so think about that.
Wow.
Well, I hope he's not anywhere near here, because I don't want any part of him.
But you're saying you're saying is the more boys
you have the
more stupid it gets
because when you put
when you put dumb brains together I think the dumb just gets bigger.
I think that's why
there
should be a movie
Awesome,
let's hear
it.
Why doesn't the blood run to a gentleman's feet when he stands up, but it runs to his head when he does a hand
Uhhh...
What?
There's
something in his feet?
You know,
you wouldn't have had to explain that to me if I hadn't been a stupid guy.
I may not know what I talk about because I'm a stupid guy, but I do believe you're
right.
What does, what does multitasking mean?
Doing more than one thing.
There's studies that guys can do one thing and do it great.
Yes, never give a guy gum because that's all he'll be able to do for the foreseeable future.
That is very true,
Mike.
And I don't know if you heard this earlier, Karen, Karen, but I realized who the most dangerous people in the world are is a man with a power tool before his first incident.
Well, I wouldn't be on any of my job sites then, because we have guys that have power tools all the time.
Well, but not on your job site, but before their first incident with a power tool.
I'm not gonna jinx anything.
Well, but I'm saying in their lives, they've had an incident
that usually
teaches them a little something.
That is very true.
Yes.
You learn more from a mistake than what you do from anything else.
Yep, that's why my wife married me.
She's learning?
She learns a lot from me, yes.
Yes, that's exactly
right, Karen.
I almost had to explain that one to you.
No,
no, I would just be a polite.
Women are the ones that are stupid, and I don't
know why.
Why are women and not us
stupid?
It's got something to do with those bumpy things that go under their shirt.
It pulls on the front of their face and gives them brain damage.
Well, you may be trying to prove that women are stupider,
but
I think, ironically, you're proving the male idiot theory.
Oh, no, I studied
this.
Oh, you studied it, have you?
I studied many bumpy things that women grow under.
their shirt.
Okay.
Well,
I'm sorry I said that you're proving the male idiot theory.
I didn't realize you were
an academic.
Oh, no, no, I studied it.
Okay, so you studied it, you're not an academic.
Yeah, that's what the whole problem is.
So, what we're saying is that you're under this church.
Yeah, okay, all right.
I've heard that like now a million times.
But little do you know that you, sir, are a boob.
Well, I think that's enough stupid for one day.
What do you think?
Tomorrow.
Throwback Thursday, going back in time, seven o'clock, we do the 70s, eight o'clock, we do the 80s, and we just cover ourselves in the decades, and take a break from the 21st century.
Now that isn't stupid.
So we'll do it tomorrow, and we'll see you on the radio.
Every Monday through Friday, 5.30 to 10, right
here.
the Wi-Fi!
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments.
Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included.
A great central downtown location.
One to five bedroom apartments.
And no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments.
Now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
