MORNING MELTDOWN - THROWBACK MOM-ISMS

Hey!

It's Mike Waters from the Waters Wake Up Call with the Morning Meltdown, throwback Thursday slash Mother's Day edition.

And I'd have to say we all had a blast talking about our mother's various momisms.

I mean, I'd rather call them mom catchphrases, which I, you know what, I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna refer to them as such from here on out.

But thanks to you, I have a pretty good collection of them.

And all those mom catchphrases are coming up and you'll also get the hit and run headlines, the five things you didn't know you needed to hear.

We've got some messages for mom and you know what I think.

I think we should start like we always start the water's wake-up call at 5.50 with...

Let's look on the bright side with Mike Waters on 157

KOKZ.

Sponsored by Walton Collision Center.

So I want to tell you about this amazing story and it's about a woman named Linda who had been homeless for 28 years and now she has been reunited with her family in Wisconsin just in time for Mother's Day.

So she's been struggling with addiction and chronic illness.

Linda was...

was living unsheltered in Miami when she met Gabby, who was a worker from Miracle Messages, which is a nonprofit that helps reunite homeless people with their loved ones.

So Linda shared her dream of reconnecting with her family, and Gabby explained how Miracle Messages could help her reunite with them.

A volunteer internet sleuth tracked down Linda's mother, Darlene, who immediately expressed his desire to reconnect with her daughter.

Soon, Linda's adult children, Evelyn and Marcos, who hadn't heard from their mom in over two years, were on their way to Miami to bring Linda home.

So Linda agreed to return with them, and shortly after arriving in Wisconsin, she enrolled in a treatment program.

So Gabby was later invited to a family reunion, and Linda got a chance to thank her for the help.

And Linda's sister, Angie, says that her return has brought the family back together.

And she says, I feel like we are whole again.

So it's pretty amazing.

to be homeless and with addiction for 28 years, and then reunited with her family, including her adult kids, Evelyn and Marcos.

So there is one of the ultimate, I'd have to say, one of the ultimate Mother's Day bright signs.

There you go, sponsored by Wong Collision Center on Highway 151 in Fairfax.

Wong Collision Center, where quality is their priority.

Isn't that cool?

Happy Mother's Day to Linda.

And I'll tell you what, we're gonna get into the hit and run headlines right after this special message for mom.

Here you go, ma.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday is mother's day.

Families from around the country celebrate mom!

Don't miss the homemade breakfast by kids!

The spilling!

The burnt pancakes!

The undercooked eggs!

Mother's Day!

Sunday!

See moms in restaurants!

Waiting for a table on the busiest day of the year!

And don't forget about flower deliveries!

Five dollars worth of flowers for 75 bucks!

Mother's Day cards!

Drawn by four-year-olds!

Phone calls from grown kids from out of state!

Asking for money!

And don't miss the dad's worthless attempt at household chores!

Remember to say, I love you!

Mother's Day!

Sunday!

Now your mama wants me to update you on some of the goings on around the world, so let's do this.

Oh, excuse me.

I'm choking on something.

I'm not sure what though.

Okay, let's see.

A meteorite crashed into a New Jersey home.

Although it was terrifying, the family decided the best thing to do is just, hey, forget about

it.

A study claims the worst place to be a police officer is Arkansas.

And the best is Duncan.

George Santos was charged with fraud and false statements.

So take everything you thought you knew about Santos and just keep on thinking it again.

So he pleaded not guilty after being charged with all these financial crimes.

He said he plans on getting the world's foremost legal genius for an attorney.

That's right, he plans to represent himself.

You know, today is National Make a Book Day.

So for any Kardashians listening, a book is something you use for reading and reading is...

Don't forget it, this is hopeless.

Hey, a spill from a sewage truck temporarily closed a highway in Colorado.

Cars caught behind the truck said the stench was simply awful, while Uber drivers rolled down their windows and noticed no difference whatsoever.

Today is World Ego Awareness Day.

I would have made this announcement sooner, but frankly, I think this kind of mindless crap is beneath me.

Detroit is one of the most expensive places in America to insure a car.

Understandable because bulletproofing a car ain't cheap.

Oprah is building a wall around her California home.

Nobody knows if it's to keep intruders from getting in or Steadman from getting out.

And finally, a website will pay people $1,000 to watch all of the Fast and Furious movies.

But keep in mind, what you gain in cash, you lose in brain cells.

That's all I got.

Oh, hit and run, something I could never do.

That's probably why I never got involved in baseball.

Anyway, you know, before the five things you didn't know you needed to hear happens, let's let's take a few calls and get some of your mom's catchphrases.

Kerry from Dysart, what say

you?

I think I might have even called last year and told you.

Maybe.

I'm not for sure.

If she didn't like something, she would.

She's so kind and so sweet and she would say, well, isn't that different?

I think I do remember you calling with that.

She's always so kind and sweet when she said it.

Right.

Anybody that knew her knew.

Yeah, she doesn't like it.

Even if you didn't know her, you'd at least be confused.

Isn't that?

Did she mean good, different, bad, different?

Did she mean weird?

Did she mean mentally insane?

What did she mean?

Yeah, I don't know what you... That's different!

Oh my god, that's the last thing I want to be is different!

was trying to be polite about it instead of flat out saying, that's ugly.

Yeah, right.

Did you grow up to now use that phrase?

Well, isn't that different?

No, I knew what it meant, and I just thought it was not very nice.

OK, OK.

So that was something that your mother gave you that you threw away in the garbage.

Exactly.

OK, one more quick message for mom, and then right into the five things.

And now, mom thoughts.

I love that first sip of drive-through coffee.

That burns every last ounce of hope in the world out of your tongue.

This has been Mom Thoughts.

You didn't know you needed to hear.

With Mike Waters.

How would you like to put your pet on a billboard for free?

That's right, a little fluffy can be up there or maybe cotton ball or whatever you call your hamster.

Billboard company Lamar is letting people post photos of their pets on billboards for free for National Pet Month.

Because May is National Pet Month, obviously.

So just go to

Lamar that's L A M A R loves pets dot com Lamar loves pets dot com and use the discount code Lamar pet month

You just upload a photo at Lamarlovespets.com and you add a custom message and there's a map so you can choose a billboard nearby.

You can also choose the date and time for it to play.

All right, let's talk about this.

And really, you should just pay attention to things when you're out and about.

I know it's so much easier to go for a walk or a run.

It's so much better to listen to tunes.

But still, try and be aware of what's going on around you.

There's a woman in Atlanta

She jogged past an active shooting, and this was last week.

Didn't realize it until later.

So she's jogging past, she has her air pods in, had no idea she was jogging past an active shooting situation.

So she posted a video of herself running, you know, this last Thursday and giving a thumbs up while Sirens wailed in the background.

She had no idea what was going on, especially in Atlanta.

You know, if you're jogging in Atlanta, be sure to pay attention.

I know it's not as great a chance here in eastern Iowa, but still, let's talk about a substitute teacher.

There's something about substitute teacher and I'm not dissing all substitute teachers.

That's got to be a tough job and the good

Good ones, thank you for what you do.

But then, there's somebody like this substitute teacher, Jennifer Hale.

I should call her Jennifer Inhal, actually.

She's from, guess where?

Florida, and she's being charged after letting a seventh grader use her vape pen.

Here is a mom of a middle school student, Jennifer Hunter, and Eustace Police Chief, Craig Capri, talking about the excuse the

sub gave.

I never thought that a substitute teacher would give my child that or someone else's child any of that stuff.

You can't do this.

You just can't do it.

I mean, this should be common sense.

So she has a responsibility to that classroom to protect kids, not abuse them.

Her response was she just wanted to fit in.

Yeah, just wanted to fit in.

I remember wanting to fit in with seventh graders.

When I was in seventh grade, when you're an adult, you don't want to fit in, especially if you're a substitute.

That's not your purpose.

This could get a little creepy.

A 23-year-old Snapchat influencer.

Ah, these influencers used OpenAI's technology to create an AI version of herself that will be your girlfriend for a dollar a minute.

to earn five million dollars per month but you can kind of see where this is going right

I've been following your posts and you're really hot

Thank you.

What interests you about my content?

I like how you can take complex concepts and make them easy to understand.

That's sweet.

But what do you think about the ethical implications

of advanced machine learning algorithms?

Well, I'm not sure.

You want to go out?

See, that's the thing.

I crave intellectual stimulation and engaging conversations.

Goodbye.

Next.

Hi.

I'm an artificial intelligence influencer.

Hello, big brain.

Want to talk about underlying philosophical themes and their impact on the human consciousness.

You had me an artificial intelligence.

Yeah, artificial is the key word there.

So just please, please remember that, will you?

So the COVID pandemic.

is now officially, and the CDC says that today is the official end of the COVID-19 pandemic.

But really, what exactly does that mean?

A quick announcement now that the COVID-19 pandemic is officially over, we can now get back to our normal lives.

We can shake hands again.

Enter crowded places with no masks on.

Now no more washing our hands after we sneeze.

We can tickle strangers again and follow ex-lovers into movie theaters and breathe on the back of their neck in the darkness.

Kissing European style extra hard is now back.

And of course, sexy boots,

photos as your Facebook profile picture are officially back.

My friend's COVID is over.

Thank you.

You know, I don't think I want to do a lot of those, but I think a lot of those we were also already doing.

So what do you do?

All right.

And I got to end with this because Mother's Day is Sunday and this is a mother and son discovering a bear eating cake from their garage fridge.

So listen.

Oh my God, he ate the cake.

He

ate the cake!

Go, Bear!

Go!

He ate the cake!

He ate the cake!

I'm glad they didn't have a bag of cocaine in their garage.

Have you seen cocaine, Bear?

Well, I wanted to end with a story that really takes the cake, so I think that's five things.

Right

on High Five.

Don't leave me hanging.

Nice.

Okay, before we wrap this up, let's take a few more calls.

What was your mom's catch

phrase?

When I get to 10, you're in trouble.

So I can imagine when they got to school and they started to learn to count.

Yeah.

You know, teachers start counting and they break down.

Right.

Yeah, PTSD.

Uh-oh, what's she gonna do?

I

don't even know this

lady.

That, yeah, that's great.

That's great.

Good

stuff,

man.

Good

stuff.

Good call.

Good call.

I try, I try not to, I try to come with the quality and

not quantity.

Well, God bless your right to heck.

Hey, thanks for making everyone smile in the morning, Michael Waters.

Well,

that's the goal, whether it happens or not, I don't know, but it's the goal.

You will have to call you Smiley Waters.

My mom used to say it was one of my favorites.

I brought you into this world, I can take you out of

it.

But it actually originated with a TV dad, Bill Cosby, first episode of The Cosby Show.

That

sounds right.

That is a great

line.

I

put you

into this world, and I can take

you out.

Yeah, but it was

my favorite.

Yeah.

Well, it sounds like your mom never delivered on that last part that taken you out part of that.

She

put you into the

world, and you're still here, so.

Yeah, that's a good thing.

You must be a very good boy.

Well, thank you.

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

You have a good

morning.

My mom's right.

I love you, but sometimes I just don't like...

Yes, I remember hearing that too.

And the, the I love you part kind of cushioned that because it should just went ahead and said, you know what?

I don't like you.

He like, oh my God, I

really

went overboard this time.

Yeah, it was only when I did something I really...

Yes.

That brings up the, uh, I'm not mad at you.

I'm disappointed.

And that was worse than being mad.

Disappointed.

And

when it

was just her, we thought, Hey, we can do anything and we'd start doing whatever.

And then when, when she brought up, wait till your dad gets home.

It's like, Oh no, she's going to tell dad.

We didn't think of

that.

But my son's an only child, so when he was very good, I always said, Gary, you're my favorite.

Well, of course.

Did he figure that out?

Or did he?

Yeah, well, I'm your only kid, Ma.

He did.

And I said, all the more reason that you should be the favorite.

If you weren't, you'd be really screwing

up.

Sorry, son.

You may be my only kid, but you're not my favorite.

My favorite is the one I haven't had yet.

You're sad.

I never did that.

I'll give you stuff to cry about.

I always said I brought you into this world.

I'll take you out and I know how to make another one look just like you.

You won't be

missed.

Now, see, I've never heard that second part.

Of course, I've heard the, I put you into this world.

I can take you out.

But what was that second part again?

Oh, I'll make another one look just like you.

You won't be missed.

I love that.

I love- I wish my kids were still young now.

Well, you know, I think that's gonna do it for the throwback Thursday, Mother's Day edition of the Morning Meltdown.

I better get working on what I'm gonna do tomorrow for the Friday show.

We're gonna talk TV moms, we're gonna dedicate songs to mom, we're gonna do all kinds of stuff.

It's all about mom.

Tomorrow morning on the Waters Wake Up Call 5.30 to 10.

Until then, have a great rest of your throwback Thursday, and we'll see you right here on the-

radio.

Every

Monday through Friday 5 30 to 10 right

here.