Morning Meltdown for Wandom Wednesday!

you

How I am Mike waters from the waters wake-up call and here we go with another waters wake-up call morning meltdown We're gonna go over everything we did this morning, and you know this morning was what about four and a half hours Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna boil that down or melt it down I guess you'd say since we call it the meltdown and I'm gonna give it to you in about 20 minutes It's like the cliffs notes for the waters wake-up call the wake-up call meltdown So we're gonna cover just about everything we did

today like uh phrases that kids say that we can't understand and then and then we'll flip that around in our expressions that they have no idea about then we'll also talk about conversation starters that you know aren't the weather yeah i know it's easy but we need to mix it up a bit you know what i mean and of course we'll also hit the five things you didn't know you needed to hear the hit and run headlines and kicking things off the right way not to mention the bright

way

Let's look on the bright side with Mike Waters on 105.7 KOKZ.

Sponsored by Wong Collision Center.

These Girl Scouts, there's a New York City Girl Scout troop and they're selling cookies.

This Girl Scout troop, by the way, comprised of kids...

Experiencing homelessness.

Yeah, it's absolutely sad.

And what the troop leader is doing, that's what puts this on the bright side.

The troop specifically serves these kids that are currently experiencing homelessness.

So this is the creator of Troop 6000, again in New York City.

Her name is Giselle Burgess.

Just talking about why she wanted to make this specific Girl Scout troop and the fact that she didn't think she was going to be able to do it.

it.

She thought the powers would be, we're going to say, I don't think so, but she got a very different response.

Back in 2017, my kids and I had lost our home.

We ended up in the New York City shelter system.

I was already an employee at Girl Scouts of Great New York.

How do I tell them that I want to start a troop here and why?

I walked in, it was like, absolutely worth it.

It's such a discouraging, scary time already.

It was exciting to see girls as they were walking by, participating and laughing in one room, and they were like, I want to hang out with them every week.

A big shout out to Giselle and Troop 6000, that New York City Girl Scout troop.

That is a bright side for a Wendom Wednesday, and it's all sponsored by Wong Collision Center on Highway 151 in Fairfax.

Wong Collision Center, where quality is their priority.

Well, there you go.

Another blindingly bright side.

And speaking of bright, as is for a segue, let's talk about mom.

You know, Sunday is Mother's Day.

Don't forget, you know.

Don't you forget.

So I thought before we crash into hit-and-run headlines, we'd celebrate the woman who birthed us, then made us feel guilty our entire lives with how painful it was.

Yeah, sorry, mom.

I don't remember a

thing.

By the word happy, we in no way mean joy as celebratory or jovial, for if said mother feels sad, depressed, or irritated, it's her right to feel as such.

Also, this once a year or said day in no way insinuates or represents a full year of said mother value, for said one day does not deem full worth.

If said mother feels as such, we are deeply apologetic, and said value of such mother or female procreator included in form of message is far greater in scope.

Again, if by any such words or message, if in any way falls short of said appreciative message by said family, in any way, again, we deeply regret the inconvenience of emotion, and we emphatically apologize.

This happy mother's day message void war prohibit

by law.

Thanks Ma.

Now on with the hidden run headlines.

Okay, so let's take a peek at these.

Let's see what's going on around the world, shall we?

So experts are warning, AI could cause the end of humanity.

Challenge accepted, responded TikTok.

The official coronation portrait of King Charles is out.

I mean, it looks so realistic that Harry and Meghan immediately begged it for money.

You know, someone in Kansas was ticketed for fishing with a handgun.

And boom, just like that, we found the villain for Aquaman 3.

Because that's what the world needs, another superhero movie.

So there was a guy wearing a Bud Light beer can costume, and he was arrested for DUI in Kansas.

He's just lucky it was a cop who pulled him over and not Kid Rock.

You can't imagine.

A man spent $100,000 to have his legs lengthened so he could be three inches taller.

It's a lot of money.

He could have gotten the same results by just lying on social media like the rest of us.

There's a Florida couple celebrating 80 years of marriage.

The couple credits their successful relationship to one thing, deafness.

Did you hear me, honey?

All right, yes, I'd love another beer, darling.

It goes, I don't know, I'm just assuming.

A restaurant in New York City is offering a $29 hot dog.

That's right, that's basically a $30 hot dog.

It comes with five condiments, a side of chili, and an appointment to have your head examined.

And your wiener too, while we're at it.

California's record rain caused a wildflower super bloom.

Unfortunately though, it's totally overpowered by the stench coming from San Francisco.

So Robert De Niro announced he became a father at 79.

Insiders say the baby has its mother's eyes and father's diapers.

It also means he has to start buying pureed veggies for two.

Sorry about the...

There Bobby D. You know, I love you Tom Hanks said he has acted badly on sets before Apparently one time he took extra napkins at lunch and then he never used them A new Star Trek website lets you virtually explore the bridge of every version of the Enterprise doesn't that sound like fun there Trekkies?

Or you could take a shower and try talking to a girl, but it's your life.

Do what you're going to do.

Jennifer Lopez says Ben Affleck is an amazing, and this is a multiple choice, an amazing, A, father, B, husband, or C, Batman, and was promptly laughed out of the room.

Yeah.

So Busta Moved, rapper, young MC, turns 56 today.

He's going to be celebrating with his best friend, Harry, and his brother, Larry, who in five days is going to marry.

That's just part of the rap I found online.

Bono turned 63 today.

So go ahead and look in your fridge.

Whether you asked for it or not, there's a piece of birthday cake in there.

Okay?

And these days, he's talking about his keys when he says, I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Yeah, right.

Seven horses died at Churchill Downs in the run up to the Kentucky Derby.

If this happened to competitors and any other sport, we'd be concerned.

Except the UFC.

In that case, we'd probably be relieved.

Yeah.

I'll think about that for a minute.

All right.

Well, that's all I got.

Oh, that's what you get for texting and driving.

Okay, earlier this morning, while randomly surfing the net, I found a couple of very interesting lists.

The first one, top five phrases young people use that the rest of us just don't get.

Like, uh, dank.

I know you think you know what dank means, but you don't know what dank means.

I think of it as like a dank cave, or your basement's kinda, kinda dank.

I don't know, like, wet and it smells funny.

That's, I guess, what I think.

I don't know if that's anybody's definition of dank, but it's mine.

But as far as the kids go, they say it means something is excellent or very high quality.

Boy, that sure is dank.

Hey, dank skirt, Beatrice.

You know, something like that.

That'll be my catchphrase, I think, from now on.

Hey.

dank dank skirt Beatrice alright salty is another word and I know you think you probably know what salty means you know whether it's salty food or maybe there it's a salty old guy who you know speaks speaks without a filter you know that kind of guy and kind of ornery and cranky and if you talk with salty language it's kind of dirty you know but no that's not what it what it means to them it means jealous

describes how all the other guys at the 30th High School reunion, for instance, feel when someone shows up with hair.

Gosh, I sure am salty that you've got all your hair, you know, something like that.

I know it sounds stupid, but hey, kids, what are you gonna do?

Bougie is another one, and I think I know what that means.

It means extravagantly fancy.

which is why nobody who listens to this show will ever use it.

So let's flip that around a little bit and talk about some of those terms that we use that young people don't get.

And I don't have to explain any of these.

I think we all know what these mean, like beating a dead horse or rule of thumb or back to the salt mines or take the bull by the horns.

And let's take a call.

Do you have anything to add to the list?

Don't poke the bear.

Don't poke the bear.

Yeah, don't even mess with that.

That's right.

Yeah, don't poke the bear.

I think that's self-explanatory, but a great one.

All right.

Thanks for that.

How about another one?

Hello?

Mr. Water!

What's happening?

I got a bone to pick with you.

You got a bone to pick with me.

Now, I hope that's a phrase that a young person wouldn't get, and you don't actually have a bone to pick with me.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Oh, thank God.

A phrase that a younger person would not get, and you know, I gotta tell you, we're off the way back.

Wow,

so you're driving all the way from Atlanta to Cedar Rapids?

But you must have the app then, huh?

Because I was trying to imagine the size of an antenna that would get us in Atlanta.

Yeah,

an antenna the size of a semi, absolutely.

Well, I certainly appreciate you listening, so what were you doing in

Atlanta?

a president of a union, and we're coming into master bargaining.

All right, well good luck on the bargaining.

I know it can be tough with the unions, but it's cool to know that unions are still around and they're fighting for the people who need to be thought for.

Absolutely.

Thank you,

sir.

All right, thanks for that.

And I'll tell you what, I'm gonna wrap things up with a few more phone calls right after the five things you didn't know you needed to hear.

But first, we gotta give another minute to mom.

Mom, this is for you.

It's Mother's Day weekend, weekend.

Look, there's little Susie.

She's making a handmade Mother's Day greeting card with construction paper and crayons.

Looks like she's been eating some of the beast too.

And here's Timmy.

He made mom a ceramic ashtray in art class because he knows she loves her Virginia Slims.

And there's mom.

She's celebrating her special day by cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and cooking everyone dinner.

Uh-oh.

Dad was too busy playing golf with his boss and totally forgot to get mom a gift.

Looks like he'll be sleeping on the couch for a while.

you

Okay, now I have some other things.

Five, I believe, that you didn't know you... Let's just hit it.

Five things you didn't know you needed to hear with Mike Waters.

Oh, so this has got a bit of a twist to it here.

There's a woman who wrote a children's book about grief following the death of her husband.

She's from Utah.

They had kids and all of that.

Very sad.

Very sad.

This is her talking, and then we'll get into the twist right afterwards.

Listen.

So my husband passed away unexpectedly last year.

He was 39.

It completely took us all by shock.

And we have three little boys.

My kids and I kind of wrote this book on the different emotions and grieving processes that we've experienced last year.

She was charged with his murder earlier this week.

So authorities believe that Cory Richens, I think is how you pronounce that, killed her husband by poisoning him with fentanyl.

You have to wonder did she kill him so she could write a book and then she'd have that selling point?

I don't know, there are crazier things that have happened with people.

Now let's go from that to something a little bit lighter and it's always funny to hear people from Britain.

try to speak like Americans with an American accent.

I'm sure they love to hear us, you know, speak with a British accent as well.

Here are a bunch of Brits trying to sound like Americans.

Literally, Coachella is the best festival I've ever been to in my life.

Can I have a glass of water?

I literally cannot deal with all of these people around here.

They're such vegans.

I just want to meet, okay?

A big fat cheeseburger and some fries would be so good.

Oh my God, I'm like drinking a beer.

I'm

vegan the rest of us don't talk like that okay just just the weirdos who go to festivals like Coachella and moving right along did you know that whales can imitate human voices have you ever have you ever heard that fact these killer whales this is a clip from a quick video just showing off what they can do so

listen

You know, I don't think Rich Little has anything to worry about.

Is Rich Little still alive?

I don't know.

There's got to be a better impressionist than Rich Little.

Oh, that's an old reference.

Anyway, let's talk about the metaverse.

They changed their name from Facebook to meta.

I still say Facebook, but Facebook's metaverse...

Officially dead, and we've got an update from our reporter on the scene of the Metaverse funeral, I believe.

The Metaverse has died.

Cause of death.

It may have been a virus.

Some say it crashed.

The task manager tried for a restart, but it was too late.

It shut down.

Rather than a funeral, there will be an augmented reality with a holographic display featuring an avatar of Mark Zuckerberg delivering the eulogy.

The only way you could attend is by purchasing an NFT with cryptocurrency.

Reporting from the funeral of the metaverse, I'm really lose it all.

And I think that's five

things.

Five things you didn't know you needed to hear.

Okay, was that four or five?

You know, sometimes I lose count.

Oh well.

You know, before we wrap up this sucka, a few more random calls.

Hello?

A random thought is in Hawaii, W's are V's, so it's the Vandemvenstee.

Vandemvenstee?

That's like Germans.

Germans do the same thing.

There you go.

Yeah, it's the V's.

Vandemvenstee?

All right.

Yeah, I see it.

All right.

And then, um, do you sign your D.J.

note?

Signs Hawaiian's D.J.?

It's like, they're like Epstein's mother kind of thing.

Oh.

Oh, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Signed Epstein's mother, signed Hawaiians DJ.

Okay, all right.

I'll get that to you stat.

Thank you so much.

You're

welcome.

And then when you were doing that clip earlier, they weren't doing.

yes very good very good and they were all sounding the same and if you didn't hear this clip earlier there's a guy walking around with a video camera asking Brits and I'm assuming it's Coachella asking these Brits to sound as American as they can listen

literally Coachella is the best festival I've

ever been to in my life.

Can I have a glass of water?

I literally cannot deal with all of these people around here.

They're such vegans.

I just want to meet, okay?

A big fat cheeseburger and some fries would be so good.

We're literally like eating so much food today, drinking so many drinks.

There you go.

The Brits trying to sound as Kardashian as they could, but those are the only people who go to Coachella.

Are people who talk like this and literally?

And everything is literally, even if it's figuratively, but it's still literally.

Exactly.

It literally fought on.

I should do a whole day where I talk like that.

I just talk like this all day.

That's Queen.

And coming up next, I think it's Kenny Loggins, but I'm not sure.

But I literally-

Love him to death.

I literally just think he is the ultimate of all time universal things.

Like thebomb.com.

I know, but it's like, I still can't find any vegan stuff.

It's just like so weird,

you know?

Yeah, yeah, literally.

Literally no vegan stuff.

And you know, every once in a while on Wandom Wednesdays, I like to put on a Wandom voice and answer the phone and just see what happens.

I think that's my rotary phone ringing.

Hello, KOKZ.

Good morning, Mike Waters.

How are you?

I'm fine.

How are you?

Hey, pretty good.

Pretty good.

Excellent.

Excellent.

What's happening today?

Hey, well, I'm just calling you to let you know that Trinity American Lutheran Church has a community meal, 436 at 605 West 4th Street.

Open to the public, please.

Everybody's welcome to come.

Mom, is

that you?

Yes, it is.

How are you today?

I'm doing pretty good!

It's

Wandom Wednesday, so every once in a while I'll put on a Wandom voice or something and it's just a day to be

silly.

Yes, exactly.

So I assume this is Tony the Italian Lutheran I'm talking to.

That's right, it's Antonio the Italian Lutheran.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah.

You're coming for dinner.

Well, that's awesome.

You're

coming for dinner.

You come and eat.

I should.

I

should come and eat.

I should have some food.

Are you saving pasta tonight,

Tony?

All right, so tell me again exactly where you are there Antonio the Italian Lutheran and the whole

day

So I know you're in Waterloo

You

know you kind of a sound like Father Guido

Sarducci

Fantastic.

Well, that is awesome.

That really is.

And that's no joking.

What you guys do down there is fantastic.

So I hope the community appreciates you, Antonio, the Italian Lutheran, and the free meals you put on and call me about.

I'm going to call you every second Wednesday of the month.

Every second Wednesday of the month, we have a free meal.

All right, I'm gonna put it down on every second Wednesday calendar I'm gonna put Antonio the Italian Lutheran calling me about about the the free meal I don't know if all that will fit on my calendar, but I'm going to try

Thank

you, thank you, thank you.

Thanks for getting wind them with me this morning tomorrow We head back to the 70s at seven and 80s at eight

With throwback Thursday, it's just a chance to take a two-hour break from the 21st century.

I think we all need that.

And I was thinking, since it's so close to Mother's Day, we'll talk momisms.

You know those things mom always told you and usually just harped on them over and over and over, nagging and harping and harping and nagging.

You know those things.

We'll talk momisms for Throwback Thursday tomorrow.

So we'll catch you back here bright and early tomorrow morning as we hit the Waters Wayback Machine and celebrate a little Throwback Thursday.

Yeah,

bye-bye!

Every Monday through Friday 5 30 to 10 right

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