5 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO HEAR!

Well,

first of all, the Big March Madness.

I just, I just wanted to shout out a big ol' good luck to our Hawkeye's men's and women's.

The guy's taking on Auburn, that's tomorrow at 5.50, and the lady's gonna be taking on Loser-Anna.

Did I say that right?

Loser-Anna?

Oh, Louisiana.

somebody from Louisiana is here in the studio, got a little ticked off.

But still, loser Anna.

They're taking them on 350 on Friday.

So go Hawks.

And if you're not quite sure, all of the teams that are in March Madness this year, well, all you have to do is listen to this and carefully.

Five Tigers cat-a-mouthed in the Alliance, two Cougars, Bobcats, Bison, Bruins, Bears, Panthers, and Hoosiers, Sun Devils, Blue Devils, Horned Frogs, Crimson Tide, Friars, and Islanders, two Gales, and the Knights, Red Hawks, J Hawks, and Hawkeyes.

Yeah!

Rage of Cajun Aztecs fighting the Linai, four Wildcats, who the hell are the Norse?

Figure it out, there's still 33 more.

Boy, that's

hard to sing all at once like that.

Boy, am I tired.

Moving on!

It's the number two thing.

Monkeys.

You know, monkeys seem all very cool and you want to hang out with a monkey.

I'm not talking about Mickey Dolan's or any of them.

I'm talking about actual monkeys and can be very dangerous.

In fact, I was just reading about this lady in Oklahoma.

She nearly had her ear ripped off by a pet monkey that escaped a nearby neighbor's house.

This is Brittany Parker talking about this traumatizing monkey.

Attack so hopefully your neighbors don't have a monkey that would do something like this to you listen

I looked out the window and there was a monkey looking at me and I took a second take and I was like there's a monkey on the front porch He was trying to get into my house the little button that you push in on your screen door He had broke it off.

I was literally hanging on to the door trying to hold my door closed He crawled jumped up my back and landed on my head grabbed handfuls of hair and just ripped

out and then ripped my ear almost completely off of my head.

You know, I've heard similar stories.

It can be pretty brutal, just a little monkey, a crazy monkey business.

Let's talk about the perfect nap.

Do you like to nap at work?

I think we should all be able to do what George Costanza did, build a nice little place to lie down, take a nap.

right under your desk pillow and the blanket and the whole thing well if you were wondering what the perfect nap the length of time for it would be

20 to 30 minutes.

So if you still haven't adjusted to the time change, and I know I haven't, beat the daylights out of me, I'm telling you, a nap might help.

Just don't sleep more than 20 to 30 minutes.

Any longer than that starts getting you into deeper stages of sleep, and you can wake up feeling groggy, or as I like to call it, the angry nap.

You wake up and you're just, you know, you're groggy and very short tempered.

So 20 to 30 minutes, okay?

All right.

Moving right along, this is crazy.

There's a guy by the name of Spy got caught spying on someone at a cafe called, are you ready for this?

We spy coffee and more.

Spy was caught spying on guys in the restroom of a cafe called We Spy Coffee and More, charged with battery and video voyeurism.

So I think if you find any business called spy, don't.

Okay?

Just don't.

That's all you need to know.

There's this great video.

This video of a couple of elderly guys taking their first ride in a driverless car is pretty awesome.

There's a younger woman with them in the passenger seat, and they are both in the back.

And one of them, uh, goldmine of soundbites, I'm telling you, goldmine.

So listen to just some of what he says as he's watching an amazement beginning with how others are looking into this driverless car, just

amazed.

What

is

happening to this world?

You sure this ain't a cop car?

How in the world, Amanda?

This made my day, Amanda.

Me too.

This made

my day.

If older people could afford it, that'd be good for us old folks once we lose our license, or even when we don't.

Even when we don't, if we still have our license, we could be in the driverless car.

I think that would be, I don't know, I still don't trust the driverless cars, I'm sorry.

They love it, though.

They do.

And I thought, I thought to celebrate these two older guys, I thought we would give them a quick song, a quick song just to show them how cool that is about, you know, after talking about these these older guys driving in this futuristic car.

So let's go out

singing.

I said, let's ride in a driverless car.

He said, if it ain't got a driver that's going too far.

We're riding in a driverless car.

Check where?

Going to his favorite bar.

I'm sure this ain't a cop car.

Because he

can drink and not get stopped.

Now,

Grandpa be once one.

Great Monday.

Beep, beep, beep, beep,

beep, beep, yeah.

That'd be good for us all, for us to lose our license, or even what we don't.

Yeah.

All right, and that band, by the way, the driverless Volkswagen Beetles, thanks for that.

And I think that's five things.

What the hell were those things?

Five things.

You didn't know you needed to hear.

Thanks.

I needed

that.

You know everything now.

That's five things no one else knows.

That's five things.

Thanks.

I needed that.

This is the water's wake-up call.

Thank you.

I needed to hear that.