Transcript
The Waters Wake Up Call with Mike Waters · Sat Feb 4, 2023
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Hey, good February, February to you.
How do you pronounce it?
February or February?
I think it's supposed to be pronounced February, but a lot of people call it February, so...
Who cares?
I'm not gonna judge.
So good February, February to you.
I don't want anybody to feel left out.
My name is Mike Watters and this is the not great but best I had from last week podcast.
I hate calling it a best of, you know?
Although the best of it is phone calls from you.
So we'll get into that.
And we wrapped up January.
Is it January or January?
Hmm.
But anyway, we wrapped up Jan Rewary and kicked off February with one of my favorite weeks so far.
It really was.
It was a blast.
And I know I usually say I have a blast during the week, but especially this week, we kicked it off with the announcement of overnight towns this year for the Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa, or better known,
As Raghbri, that's going on July 22nd through the 29th, and I'm so pumped that it's going to be rolling through Coralville and Tayma and the town of my birth Davenport didn't come anywhere near us last year.
So I'm very grateful it is this year.
I spent Monday morning kicking off the week here looking for ways to participate in the Raghbri ride without having to bike the entire route because I've got some health issues now going on and I have to be careful.
So, uh, before we get into that, I like to kick off the podcast the same way I kick off the water's wake-up call.
We could all use a little good
news.
Look at the bright side, okay?
Let's look on the bright side with Mike Waters on 1057 KOKZ.
And of course, as always, sponsored by Long Collision Center.
So one of my favorite stories from the week, and it comes near my old stomping grounds in North Dakota.
It's actually Bismarck.
I did radio in Fargo for a while.
But imagine being a kid.
at a high school basketball game.
And you get a chance to shoot four hoops.
If you make all four of these in 25 seconds, you win $10,000.
No pressure, right?
So this kid, again, had 25 seconds to make a layup, a free throw, a three pointer, and a half court shot.
He made the first one.
You know, he made the layup.
And he's a pretty good basketball player anyway.
Let me say that.
Then he makes the free throw.
All right.
Then the three pointer.
OK, but can he
Can he make the half court shot?
He doesn't have much time left.
The clock is running out.
He does the half court shot and here is the reaction.
I think we can all tell whether or not he made it by the reaction of the audience.
I was thinking, I'm probably not going to make it, but I just got to try and hope it goes in.
First three, I thought, you know, he has some basketball talent.
But the last shot, really, I think was maybe more a gift from God than it was some natural talent.
Way to go.
J.J.
Franks.
That was him and his mom talking there.
But he's got $10,000.
I would have spent it on, I don't know, bubble gum and cat guns.
That's what I had to spell it on.
He's going to be spending it on college.
There you go.
Bright Side, sponsored by Wong Collision Center on Highway 151 in Fairfax.
Wong Collision Center, where quality is their priority.
Nothing like a good Bright Side to kick things off.
And that will bring us to Rag Brie.
And you know, I just realized that if you put Rag Brie and Bright Side together, you'd have Rag Brite Side.
Anyway, we will talk Bright Side, I promise, right after this.
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You know, I wonder if they do the same kind of thing for keys, socks, and tupperware lids.
Anyway, on with Monday.
Let's talk Alternate Ways for Me to Participate in Rag
Brie.
That's
a great idea, man.
I'm gonna have to check those
out.
I was thinking about getting one because I ride bikes up in Decora and some of those hills get really bad when you're not riding all the time.
Yeah.
So my wife and I says, we're getting older.
Maybe we need help getting up the hills.
I think so.
And you
hit that electric button and he would take us up the hill.
Yeah, that's pretty amazing.
Those electric bikes, like you say, will help you get up the hill.
But again, remember you're aging.
You're getting up the hill.
Just don't go over the hill.
Just age as you quicker.
It might, because then I would do less.
That's right.
Well, I think you two should get electric bikes.
I'll get an electric bike, and we all ride rag bride.
Yeah, that would be good.
What you need to do is hook up with one of the clubs and be a driver.
That's a good idea.
I mean, it's a carnival on wheels.
So how do you hook in with a club?
To get a driver with celebrity status, think about it.
It's bragging right over the other clubs.
Hey, we had Mike Waters, the famous DJ from 105.
and
then the person they're telling that will say who?
We'll see if I get any takers.
The only way you find out is if you seek out.
I haven't seen a whole lot of Iowa yet and this would really bring me around and see more so much more of it than I've already seen.
You get to
meet people
from all over.
Sounds like the ultimate Iowa experience.
It's never been a fail.
Those are awesome, you know, just to roll some way with the riders.
So thanks to you, I will figure something out.
So on to Toon's Day and your Mount Everest song.
Before we do that, we're gonna crash into some hit-and-run headlines, but first, this may be of some interest to you.
Check it out.
Simple
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Pure and eternal.
Refined and luxurious.
It makes a statement like nothing else.
Celebrate your special love and show it to all the world with the gift of eggs.
Whatever the occasion, dazzle her with eggs.
Case of the hit and run, that's exciting.
Hasbro is laying off 15%.
of its employees.
Most workers took the news okay, but it left Mr. Potato Head in pieces.
Poor guy.
So George Santos was spotted partying in DC at a karaoke bar, and yes, when it was his turn to take the stage, he sang Little Lies.
He's a Fleetwood Mac fan, apparently.
So Chicken of the Sea is offering a million dollars to someone who can prove they've met a live mermaid.
Pugh George Santos.
So Oscar Meyer is hiring drivers for the Wiener Mobile.
Applicants must have a valid driver's license, clean driving record, and zero dignity.
Hey, that's me.
The iPhone 15 will reportedly have a titanium frame.
which means it will make an extra cool metallic sound when you drop it in the toilet.
So the U.S.
economy added 223,000 jobs in December, and that's, by the way, according to a classified document that was just found in President Biden's bathroom.
A group of scientists has concluded that cats only have three personalities, and they all hate you.
The Royal Rumble was held over the weekend, but enough about Prince Harry and his family.
Did you watch the WWE pay-per-view on Saturday night?
So someone has been putting razor blades on gas pump handles in Forest City, North Carolina razor blades on gas pump handles.
I mean, luckily no one in the area can afford to buy gas, but still.
And Jimmy Kimmel celebrated the 20th anniversary of Jimmy Kimmel Live last week.
That's right, 20 years, thousands of shows, and six laughs.
Okay, so before we get to Tuesday, I want to make sure no one gets the Monday topic of Rag Brie confused with Tuesday's Mount Everest song.
So do not, I repeat, do not ride your bike up Mount Everest.
Are we clear?
My song would have been Jim and I Dream.
Why Jim and I Dream?
Because I was on my bicycle and fell off.
It was really fast.
So you rode your bike up Mount Everest?
No,
but
I probably wouldn't make it up on it first.
On a bike?
No, I don't know if that's ever been done.
I guess it depends on what kind of a bike.
First of all, it'd have to be a mountain bike.
Yeah,
and I
only have a cruise bike.
Oh, a cruise bike.
And my key broke off on my lock last
week.
Oh.
I didn't have a lock on it.
And I'd say you should not ride your bike up Mount Everest.
If you can't lock it up, I wouldn't ride it up a mountain.
But it's got 21 speeds.
My
hands have arthritis in
them.
Oh.
Which is a bad thing.
Yes.
Then I would really not ride your bike up the mountain.
And I didn't
want to go.
Van Halen?
last
time we did this about a year and a half ago and you called you said Van Halen but you did not say dreams I didn't know what else would you have said well let's go back in time and find out with a flashback
okay
was it a remake of the the Carpenter's tune I'm on top of the world looking hey down on
See, I'm afraid of heights and I'm a wimp, so I will never ever climb Mount Everest.
Climb every mountain?
Nope.
Well, you know what?
We should get together and go molehill climbing at some point.
I could handle that a little bit better, I believe.
Okay, we'll make a mountain out of a... Oh, no, we'll make a molehill out of a mountain.
There we go.
There we go.
This is Jake from Waterloo.
Jake from Waterloo or State Farm?
What are you wearing?
Jake from State Farm?
Uh, khakis.
She sounds
hideous.
Well, it's a guy.
So, uh, Jake...
What's your top of Mount Everest song you're in the sky by Norman Greenbottom.
That's a great one.
Well, you're welcome.
I should say thank you then because you already you're welcomed to me.
What are the chances of you ever climbing a mountain?
Zero.
And just a quick note, here are some songs you never want to hear on top of any mountain free falling.
Another one bites the dust and anything by Sunny Bono.
Think about it.
Okay, Tunes Day leads to Wandom Wednesday.
And remember how warm we felt on Wandom Wednesday?
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It was hula in the cooler day.
Our bodies were in the deep freeze of Eastern Iowa, but our minds were in Hawaii, doing the hula and enjoying the warmth and the sunshine.
When
I think about Hawaii, I think about the theme, the original Magnum PI.
Oh yeah,
yeah, Tom.
I
think Hawaii 5-0 is the more classic of the themes, but yeah, but you're right Magnum such a big 80s show
I always kept hoping that in Magnum PI they'd have somebody from Hawaii 5-0 show up
a Jack Lord just pops in
Yeah, just pops in in a cameo.
That would have been so cool.
Oh, that would have been booking Magnum
Hey, do you think all cops in Hawaii say book them Dano if they arrest somebody?
I'll bet they do all that every single one of them does
At least the rookies.
Yeah.
I shoplifted
so I could hear the line.
Please say the line
for me.
Yeah.
Hey,
it's the Hawaiian.
Of course, it's hula in the hula day, Hawaiian.
And I knew you would be calling.
I knew you would be.
So it's, have you heard being that you lived in Hawaii for a long time?
Have you ever heard of hula in the hula day?
No, I have not.
Well, it's a day to just toss all of your winter cold into the winter winds and think about Hawaii, put your mind, you know, just go there in your mind.
And it's also about really exploring the hula dance.
That I can get along with.
Yeah, the hula?
The hula.
Everybody can do the hula.
Everybody.
It's in the curriculum in school elementary school.
Yeah.
So what is so being that I'm assuming now you know the hula What is the dance?
I mean everybody thinks of you know the girls in grass skirts and just you know wiggling their hips What else is there?
I guess
Okay
It explains it to you, because they do all the different types.
The awana, which is the one, the old-fashioned one.
So that's the hula skirt and things like that.
Yeah.
And then there's the modern.
Well, that's interesting.
So what was that?
The merry monarch?
The merry monarch festival.
And
it's M-E-R-R-I-E monarch.
OK.
I'm going to look for that.
I'm going to look for that.
And I'm going to learn the hula, Hawaiian.
OK.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
It's
all in the hands of how you bend your knees.
Okay,
alright.
Well, I'll keep those tips in mind.
And does hula mean something in Hawaiian?
I don't remember.
All I know is it's just, um, like, expressions of joy.
Whatever.
I think the only thing I'd be communicating to people is run for your lives!
True expressions of terror, I'm telling ya.
All right, sorry I blew up.
Moving right along.
The pipes, the pipes are called.
Throwback Thursday is just a stone's throw away and we covered one of my favorite topics.
First though, I want to get you the five things from this past week you didn't know you needed to hear.
We'll do it right after this.
Today's show is brought to you by the Research Center for Biting Your Tongue.
Please give.
So we can better understand the connection between the tongue and the brain.
And stop the pain.
So now, I like to take the five things from the five days of things you didn't know you needed to hear and give you the best of the five days, five things, and make you hear them.
Did I say that right?
I'm not sure.
But here we go.
Five things you didn't know you needed to hear with Mike Waters.
OK, so thing number one, I talked about this on Monday morning.
Texas woman.
Fed up, and you can't blame her, especially after you hear the story.
Fed up with dozens of men coming to her door every year looking for prostitutes that don't live there.
So this is Elaine White talking about this bizarre, annoying situation.
How can a man go to a house in a neighborhood thinking they're gonna get sex?
As many hookers and prostitutes are out there, go get one.
Leave me alone.
With some sex website that
Nasty old men go and look for sex.
They pay Venmo for the services.
and then they get my address and they come here.
Yes, I have my Smith and Wesson 357 Magnum loaded four inch barrel next to me and I answer the door with it.
Right on.
She's loaded for bear and men looking for sex and authorities believe her address is being given out to people by some sex trafficking ring online.
I don't blame her for being upset about that.
All right.
Thing number two comes from Tuesday and this actually happened last Saturday in Hawaii.
There was a woman, she was heading into her living room when a massive boulder crashed through a wall and missed her just by a few inches.
Can you imagine?
So it was all caught on security cam and this is the boulder crashing into the room and followed by her describing it in an interview.
So listen to this boulders crash.
I heard the loud boom.
and apparently the boulder passed right in front of me.
I didn't see it.
All I heard was the boom and then somebody asking me if I was okay.
Just the sound of that, I imagine Indiana Jones.
Just the sound of that, I imagine it as big as the boulder that Indiana Jones is running away from, from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
And check this out, I can't even believe this happened.
A JV girls basketball coach in Virginia is being accused of impersonating a 13 year old to play on the team.
Wow, this coach, 22 years old, her name is Arlisha Boykins.
And she's said to have taken the place of a student athlete that was out of town for a tournament.
So here's the father of the player that the coach was impersonating, speaking out against the
school.
Yeah, receive one from, you know, the overseer of the program and nothing.
You know, he just came out and just told us his stipulations of what was going to happen, but there was no apology.
Teaching our kids a great lesson.
If all else fails, put in a ringer.
Yeah, you lousy.
Alright, thing number four.
This comes from Michigan.
Imagine your appearance, and you have a six-year-old child, and what's the harm?
I'll let him play with my phone a little bit.
Keep him out of trouble.
Yeah, yeah, not out of trouble.
Six-year-old kid, this is in Michigan, and the kid ordered $1,000 worth of food from Grubhub when he was playing with his dad's phone.
So this is Keith Stonehouse talking about their son Mason accidentally ordering this ungodly amount of food.
Piles and bags of food and they're dropping them off at the door so I'm not communicating with the drivers.
And I said, what is going on?
Why are you bringing me food?
He said, I don't know.
You ordered from the shortinal place.
I said, no.
Oh, I think I left the app open.
and he saw that when he was playing with my phone and just started going to town.
He ordered multiple orders, chili cheese fries, the chicken pita wraps, he ordered multiple orders of that, multiple orders of ice cream, pizza.
I think daddy learned a lesson and I hope he didn't get mad at the kid because it's totally his fault.
I hope he invited the neighbors over for a big ol' party.
Alright, and that brings us to thing number five and... What?
What's that?
Really?
Just for the last thing?
Alright, well apparently thing number five has a, uh, has a sponsor for one fit.
Okay, here we go.
Brought to you by Punxsutawney Phil.
I don't mean to bag in the guy after he just extended winter, but I heard he has money on the chief speeding the Eagles.
Just saying.
Punxsutawney Phil, six more weeks of winter, you lousy grown hug.
Okay, now we can talk about thing five.
This is just insane.
This woman is being accused of going to a Nebraska Burger King multiple times.
And stealing toilet paper.
Okay, you know, maybe some people do that.
You don't think that's totally out of the realm of possibility.
But on top of the toilet paper, she was stealing pipes from the bathroom, the plumbing, the pipes.
The pipes, the pipes are calling.
Oh, Burger King.
Okay, never mind.
Sorry.
Let's, let's continue.
An employee said she was hiding these pipes in her pants.
And this is a representative from the Lincoln Police Department breaking down what they know so far.
The Burger King near 60th and Havlock had some issues with a female coming into the store and taking toilet paper from the bathrooms.
They had confronted her and told her to stop stealing the toilet paper.
After she left, they noticed she had actually taken pipes from the toilet that connected the toilet to the wall.
Are people getting crazier or is it just me getting more sane and realizing that
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's all so insane.
I don't know even how to explain it, but I think that's five things.
What the hell were those things?
Alright Den, and straight on to Throwback Thursday.
You remember that era in which we grew up?
For a lot of us, it was the 70s and the 80s.
The best of all decades in which to grow up?
The freedom, no smartphones.
I mean, can you imagine pics of some of the things we did back then?
I mean, some would call it photographic evidence on our permanent records.
Ah, a much simpler
time.
is Saturday morning cartoons.
Yeah, yeah.
Probably terrible cartoons, but I loved them then.
But it was great.
Yeah, you actually woke up on Saturday morning because you watched your shows before your sisters and brothers woke
up.
Saturday morning cartoons were huge.
I remember before the season started, they'd have a preview on Friday night, all of the new cartoons coming the next morning.
Yep, I would watch them.
all the time too.
Yeah, and it was like you'd get excited.
It was almost like Christmas, you know, instead of opening presents, you'd see the new cartoons and it'd be very exciting.
It's very exciting.
And then you'd get your bowl of cereal and you'd hunt for the toy inside.
Yeah, yeah, right.
You'd pour the whole box out just to find the toy and then you wouldn't eat any of the cereal.
Exactly.
Ah, those were the days, weren't they?
They were the best.
I think what made it so great was what we didn't have.
social
media,
that really made our childhood great.
Yeah, what we had as far as technology, usually we got at the Radio Shack and that was it.
It was simple stuff.
Simple.
Yeah.
And it didn't take you away from interacting with other people.
That's the big thing.
You could actually interact with other people.
I've seen kids in the same room and their friends, they're not talking to each other, they're texting back and forth.
It's like, come on, have a conversation.
Oh,
Yeah, what we didn't have.
That's a great one.
Yeah.
Thanks for that.
Have a
great day, Mike.
In reference to your last comment that you were talking about back in the 70s and
80s,
everything was simple.
And kids nowadays, you know, they're in the same room texting.
In that idiotic, like he was, get up and talk to the person.
I know.
You
know, actually communicate, look at them.
Yeah.
See what their facial expression is.
Yeah.
Give them a hug, you know, or something like that.
No back, back, and forth.
Right, right.
Yeah, we had the yeah.
Yeah, we went out.
We played kick the can.
We made our own amusement, you know.
Exactly.
You were creative.
You could use your brain a little bit.
You don't do that
anymore.
Yeah.
And I saw just yesterday or the day before a picture on Facebook had a bunch of bicycles all laying over this front yard.
Hey, the parents knew where their kids were.
Yeah.
All
in the house there.
Yeah.
Nowadays.
Yeah, yeah, and you know what if you wanted to go off and ride your bike for hours and hours like say start off at 10 a.m.. And come back at 6 o'clock for dinner you can do that.
Yep.
Yep.
And back in my days if dad or mom yells you better be within hearing distance.
Yes.
Yeah.
Otherwise you didn't eat for you didn't eat dinner.
We all hated that first parent that we would hear call their kids like oh come on.
Yeah
You know, ruin the fun, and then it's like, I guess we should break it up and go home and eat.
Yep, that's good.
And back in the day, when the street lights come on, that's about the time you need to start getting closer to the home.
Today's program is brought to you by Throwback Thursday.
Sorry you're so old that you have to use a scanner to post your Throwback Thursday pictures.
Alright, now stay back to when you were a kid and you wanted to be a cowboy or a cowgirl, didn't you?
Wyatt Earp or Calamity Jane?
Well, we wrapped up the week on Friday talking about a new study that looked at which TV shows inspired the most baby names last year and the top three names are all from Yellowstone.
You had Dutton, Rip,
and case, and I thought it might be fun to pick our own cowboy cowgirl names.
You know, I wanted to pick something related to John Wayne, so I picked... Oh, hold on.
Colin's coming in.
Uh, hello?
Sky blue water.
Actually, it's not sky blue water today.
You have to call me by my cowboy name.
Rooster Cogwell.
No, it goes along with Rooster Cogburn, but I'm not as cool as John Wayne, so I'm chicken rugburn.
All the years I watched the cowboy shows gun smoke
Yes.
So
stupid fart noises, but in context, sitting around the fire, eating beans,
and...
Yeah, and I'm sure Mel Brooks was thinking exactly what you were thinking.
They're always eating beans.
Why aren't you hearing the farting and people complaining about the smell
and...
and your mind goes back to their memories that just make you laugh
like crazy.
Why then I heard from Genuine Cowgirl Carrie from Dysart.
And here comes my cowboy voice again.
But you know, since she is Genuine and all, I had a couple of questions for her.
First of all, where the hell is Tarnation?
Where is that?
It
is down below Texas.
It is.
Tarnation is.
We're just
gonna leave it there.
Roddio, we'll just leave that there and move on to question number two.
Have you heard about the super cows?
The super cows?
Well, they say the Chinese have cloned these super cows as far as what they do to make them super-
I don't know, but apparently they give twice as much milk.
But how do you think the Chinese cowboys make that happen?
I gotta say, there's gotta be lots of weird chemicals in there.
We'd almost got money on that.
Maybe carnation, you know?
The instant milk just becomes something there in their belly.
And you know what?
You know what?
What?
You said, you know what?
And I said chicken butt.
That's my favorite cowgirl joke is what daddy is.
But do you know where that stuff comes from?
The carnation?
No.
Tarnation.
Oh, yeah, my bad.
Tarnation instant milk is going on with them Chinese cows.
Hi, Mike.
How are
you?
I'm doing good.
I just wanted to tell you, I drive truck and I come up through the quarter once a while.
This week's been one of the weeks I come up through here and driving is
hours of boredom interspersed with moments of terror.
I suppose, yeah.
But I just want to tell you, I appreciate what you do.
It makes my day when I can ride up through here and listen to your show.
And just wanted to tell you, I appreciate what you do.
Thank you for that.
Where are you from?
I'm
from Clinton.
Okay.
Thanks for what you do.
Well, I appreciate it.
It takes everybody doing it.
That's right.
What was your name?
I just want Jim.
Jim.
It's funny.
My topic today is cowboy cowgirl names.
And when you say Jim, I can only think of Gene Wilder from Blazing
battles.
Jim.
You're the truckin' cowboy.
All right, thanks.
Appreciate it.
All right.
Well, to wrap up the not great but the best I had from last week, I would like to leave you with some cowboy words of wisdom.
I think I've got Carrie still here on the phone.
You mind checking these out for me, Carrie?
Oh, please do.
The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.
No, hold on.
That's for my brother.
Hang on now.
Let's see here.
Don't.
Don't dig for water under an outhouse.
That is very good advice.
And if you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on unless you landed on a cactus.
Then you have to roll around and scream in pain a little bit.
And you know the quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your back pocket.
Oh,
I like
that one.
And when in doubt, let your horse do the thinking.
No.
I
could lead to trouble.
All right, I'll leave you with that then.
Yeah.
And boom, that's going to do it for another week of the Not Great, but best I had from last week podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for participating.
I couldn't do this show without you.
Have a great weekend.
I'll catch you Monday morning.
Good morning, 530 to 10.
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