How about a nice hit and run?
Case of the hit and run, that's exciting.
Yes, uh, the royal family apparently wants to hold peace talks with Prince Harry.
And at this point, even Russia and Ukraine are like, yeah, good luck with that.
Not much chance.
Missouri lawmakers will require women to cover their arms in the state house.
It's about time, responded 1952.
So the Russian version of McDonald's is expanding into Kazakhstan and they're introducing a new sandwich, the McGoat.
I don't think that'll be hitting the US anytime soon.
So food additives in bacon and sausage may cause type 2 diabetes.
In response, millions of Americans are like, totally worth it.
Come on, it's bacon.
A Colorado library was shut down due to meth contamination.
Of course, the easy joke is that this is something you'd expect in Arkansas, not Colorado, but that's not true.
There aren't any libraries in Arkansas.
Regular visits to green spaces are linked to lower use of prescription drugs for depression and anxiety, especially if the green in those spaces is cannabis.
That's right.
That's code word for cannabis, by the way, cannabis.
If a nuclear war breaks out, scientists say the safest place to hide is in the corner of a concrete building.
It's also the safest place to hide if you see Steve Bannon exiting a Taco Bell.
And by the way, the second safest place to go during a nuclear war if it breaks out next to the Corvette in President Biden's garage.
All right.
So today is National Thesaurus Day.
Isn't there a better name for it?
Isn't... can't they... I don't know.
China's population has fallen for the first time in over 60 years.
Their solution?
Offering Nick Cannon a talk show.
Russian President Vladimir Putin is set to make a very important announcement today.
Let me guess.
He just saved 15% on his car insurance, right?
Right?
Putin?
Tim Kardashian met with inmates in California.
It was her chance to meet the worst society he has to offer and for the inmates to do the same.
So the season three trailer for the Mandalorian premiered during the Cowboys game.
So like everything else, the Dallas kicker just totally missed it.
Totally missed it.
And finally, today is National Winnie the Pooh Day.
Hopefully, this is the year someone gives him a pair of stinking pants.
Cover up, please.
All right, that's all I got.
