HIT AND RUN HEADLINES FOR MONDAY, 2-9-2023

Who used all the Wi-Fi?

Ah, apartment life.

Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.

Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.

Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.

Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.

That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.

Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.

Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?

Hey,

it's Waters From The Waters Wake Up call.

You know, with all the craziness going on in the world, sometimes you need your headlines with a punchline.

So I give you hidden run headlines every weekday morning at 6.50.

A

fire at a dairy plant in Wisconsin left storm drains clogged with butter.

Also clogged with butter, the arteries of everyone who lives in Wisconsin.

Today is Play God Day.

Vladimir Putin declared himself supreme overlord over all that he surveys.

No word on whether he knows it's a play God day or not.

He'd be doing that anyway.

So the world's first robot lawyer.

I know sounds like a bad sitcom starting like Rob Schneider or something.

The world's first robot lawyer will defend a man against a speeding ticket next month.

And I guess the robot is so realistic it's already started overcharging the client.

So talk about realistic.

So today is National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day and it is a day for law enforcement to be saluted by people other than the donut industry, okay?

And I do, I appreciate your law enforcement for everything you do.

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and I wouldn't know this if it wasn't for Mrs. Waters, I promise.

I am not a Real Housewives nerd.

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star Jen Shaw has been sentenced to more than six years in prison for wire fraud.

She's not happy about it, obviously, but she's looking forward to doing less fighting.

So Megan a movie about a killer doll opened big this weekend and toy companies apparently have noticed they just released axe murder me Elmo Which I barely got out but there you go Jimmy Page Jimmy Page guitar player for Led Zeppelin 79 you know these days page mostly rambles on after watching Fox News and you know

Oh, Jimmy Page, his stairway to heaven now has a chairlift.

Alright, there you

go,

that's all I got.