Transcript
The Waters Wake Up Call with Mike Waters · Fri Jan 6, 2023
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Hey there, how are you?
Hope you're having a fantastic weekend.
My name is Mike Waters from the Waters Wake Up Call.
What a great short week it was, huh?
Started it all off on not a Monday, but a Tunes day.
That's the best way to go.
And I was able to maybe get us into the week a little bit better.
I have to admit, I think I picked a very appropriate topic of motivation tunes.
It just seemed to me to be the perfect way to kick us back into a work week after, whoa,
Was it a week?
Week and a half?
Three weeks?
A month?
I don't know, whatever it was.
I certainly lost track of time.
From traveling to spending time with family to however you spent your Christmas, it was just hard to get back into the swing of things.
Especially after ending the whole thing on my way home from Minneapolis to Iowa, listening to that pathetic Vikings game as we were getting trounced by the Packers.
I think we all needed some motivating tunes.
And hold on a second, I've got a phone call coming.
and hello?
They just gotta learn that can't go down 34 points in the first half.
And what
made it even worse, Sunday was the day Mrs. Waters and I were driving back from Minneapolis, so we're excited for the game.
I'm in the driver's seat, game starts, and right away it's looking pretty good for the bikes with that blocked punt and its first and goal at the one yard line, and how did we not bring that one in?
Well, we settled for a field goal, but you know, then the Packers, they get a touchdown and another touchdown, but we get close again, and oh!
Nope, no touchdown, so Joseph, you remember Joseph, he kicked the 61 yarder last week to win the game while he attempts another easy field goal kick at Mrs. The rest of the first half is painful and I'm eventually crying with Mrs. Waters unsuccessfully trying to console me.
Good luck lady, so I can barely see the road with the tears in my eyes and the other drivers there on wherever we were.
I don't even know, but they're lucky I didn't turn the car into oncoming traffic.
Well, enough about that.
We're gonna get to the motivating tunes right after we check in with our sponsor because I need to get paid.
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All
right, now that I have some money in my pocket, let's talk about some motivating tunes.
What's gonna get you motivated today?
You were asking for motivational songs.
Yes.
Have you played Rock and Roll Huchiku yet?
No.
What
do you think
that means?
Rock and Roll Huchiku.
over the place.
See, I think the
Huchiku is some kind of a dance, but I have no idea.
That wasn't one of those dances I learned in gym when I was seven, like the
hustle
we learned, I think.
Yeah, that's not the type of dances I learned in school either, so I
don't know.
I don't know.
I'll check YouTube, and if I can learn how to do it, I'll post a video of myself doing the Huchiku as I play that song by Rick Derringer.
Awesome.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I'll give you something to look forward to, he said sarcastically.
Oh no, it's not.
I want to see that.
Okay.
You know, I'm kind of ashamed.
That was on Tuesday, and here it is the weekend, and I still haven't learned the Hoochie-Coochie, so I don't know if I'm gonna... Hey, we're gonna get random here in a couple of minutes, but I have got some hit-and-run headlines coming at you next.
Today's show is sponsored by Facebook ads.
Look at one, and they'll haunt you across the internet like a stalking ex-spouse trying to collect child support.
ads.
How about a nice hit-and-run?
How about it?
Hit-and-run, that's
exciting.
Alrighty, so scientists apparently identified 351 new species in 2022, which means the animal kingdom added almost as many new faces as Nick Cannon's family.
Nick Cannon's family, I say.
Health experts warn that Hershey's chocolate may contain metal.
They say the same about your divorced uncle's workout playlist.
So Victoria's Secret, Victoria's Secret brand CEO Amy Halk has resigned less than a year into the job.
Ironically, she was given a pink slip.
Or you could say it like this.
Ironically, she was given a pink slip.
Either way, it works, I think.
Metal detectors have been removed from the entrance to the Capitol.
Unfortunately for George Santos, they've been replaced by lie detectors.
Rick Singer, the mastermind of the college admissions bribery scheme that ensnared celebrities, has now been sentenced to three and a half years in prison.
However, he can get the sentence reduced if he's able to get the judge's dumb kid into Stanford.
So January, this month, right here, that we're living in, is Family Fit Lifestyle Month.
Unless you live in Alabama, in which case it's family polish off a giant bag of Cheetos, then waddle to your local McDonald's and devour your weight in McRibs Day.
Salt Lake City was voted one of the top U.S.
cities for keeping your New Year's resolutions, especially if one of your resolutions is to be born to death.
Twitter is being sued for $136,260 in back rents.
Or as Elon Musk calls it, a single child support payment.
Kelly Osborn gave birth to a baby boy.
He has his mother's eyes and his grandfather's coherence.
Oh no, poor kid.
So Alec Baldwin's daughter is pregnant.
Alec wants his grandchild to call him Pop Pop, which is also the noise his gun made on that movie set that one time.
All right, that's all I got.
Kind of makes you feel like you've been hit and runned.
But without any further ado-doo, let's get WANDOM.
In fact, I don't know how it came up, but we started talking about the WANDOM word of the day, which was diphthong.
And Carrie from Dicester, you don't know what that means, do you?
No, I do not.
Oh, you don't know what a diphthong is, huh?
It's one of the best words in the world.
It's a very WANDOM sounding word, diphthong.
Yes.
It sounds like the very, very small swimsuit I use when I go swimming.
My diphthong.
No.
Say if you have...
I'm
sorry.
Hello?
Gary, are you okay?
I'm just struck me funny.
I'm sorry.
Well, now you want a diphthong, don't you?
Oh, yes, please.
I may market that.
I may market the
diphthong
special for swimming.
I'll give you a second.
I'll give you a second.
Thank you.
Sorry.
Ease.
Okay, so a diphthong, let's say the word hey, has a diphthong in it.
It's a sound that makes two vowel sounds next together, like a, you have the a and the e, hey.
So you have two, you have two vowel sounds.
Right next together.
Yeah, right next together.
Or by.
By is another one.
Aye.
I
gotcha,
okay.
It's either two vowel sounds next together or a very small swimsuit to go swimming with.
And maybe even haver a little bit if you know what I mean.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, a little babbling going on there.
A
babbling brook.
Yeah, maybe you want to have a dip in a babbling brook.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That was my first wife's name.
She just yapped, yapped.
Her name was Brooke, by the way.
Okay.
All right.
Well,
I bid you a fine day and a dip thumb to you, Carrie, from Dizer.
Oh, well, thank you so much.
All right,
use that.
Use that a bunch.
Made by morning again.
What's
that?
Said you made by morning again.
Well, that's
good.
That's good.
What did the record producers say after he played Black Velvet for the 100th time?
What did the record producers say when he played Black Velvet for the 100th time?
Uh, what?
Man, there's a lot of miles on that song.
Oh, no!
Oh,
no!
Of course, a lot of miles, the singer of the song.
That, you know what?
Even I think that is cheap, which I guess makes that pretty good.
So... Well, I liked it.
It is funny.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I meant to say, hey, that was really funny.
But it came
out.
No, you didn't have to stretch that far.
Oh,
I
didn't?
No, you didn't have to stretch that far.
I've heard that a grimace is as good as a giggle.
I don't think that's true at all.
They're not even
this... Take when it comes to dad jokes.
Whatever reaction you get is good.
You're really trying to be cheesy at that point.
Exactly.
Kind of get both.
You know, you get, ah, oh, geez.
And then you get, you grimace after you, you know, maybe chuckle a little bit because they're always a little funny.
But then you really, your brain starts working on it and realizes that that is the dumbest thing it's probably ever heard or at least that day dumbest thing.
There you go.
Yeah, brain always
gets in the way of funny.
Yeah, well, you know if I if I can every day set some sort of a record for myself So dumbest joke of the day.
That's good.
Hey,
that's the wisdom dumb joke of the day.
There you go Hey, have you heard my my random word of the day?
No, I haven't dip song dip song.
Yeah,
you know, do you know what a dip song is?
You know, I know it's a part of the English language.
Yeah, something to do with
Okay,
well it's a very, very, very small pair of trunks when you go swimming.
Okay.
That's also the random definition of the day.
Okay.
We're all taking the random word of the day and we're coming up with our own definition.
It's actually when you have two vowel sounds right next to each other, like by, where you have a and the e right next to each other.
So that's a diphthong.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's right.
I like the swimsuit.
I like your definition.
I like your definition better.
I
do,
too.
Although it gave me the same reaction I initially laughed and then went,
oh.
OK, well, you know what?
I consider that a compliment, so I think you've made your point.
Now that you kind of know what it means, you should go around town spreading the word diphthong.
All right, we're gonna get into throwback Thursday coming up.
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Of course it is.
All right, on with Throwback Thursday, I was asking you if you could pick a New Year's resolution back when you were growing up that would change your life for the good, what would it be?
You make a resolution, because that's always my resolution, is never to make another resolution.
Well, knowing what you know now, what would it have been?
Not to spend a lot of money.
Save your money.
Yeah, I'd still...
smoke cigarettes.
Did you smoke in the
70s growing up?
Did you start at
an early age, like five?
I did.
Ten, actually.
Oldest brother was a smoker and five siblings, so all but two of them sold cigarettes for my oldest brother to be worked at a gas station.
I did not inhale until I was 12, so it doesn't count.
Good, because yeah, 12 is a much better age
to start
smoking.
But I quit, I quit.
37 years ago.
Oh, good.
You know, when you have all the siblings, you tend to think that your parents probably wouldn't have let you done.
I guess.
See, I had a younger brother, and I was the oldest, so...
But you had to be the cool one.
Oh, you still am.
Yes.
Oh, and...
An astray for Christmas.
Oh, thank you.
I was thinking about taking up smoking.
Anyhoo.
You know, amongst all of the throwback resolution calls, I love hearing from my Norwegian friends.
I've been looking out here in the parking lot of the Hardee's restaurant and it's got snow on it, you know.
And my thought for you today is this.
You mean to tell me our ancestors left Norway to come here to this stuff?
I just can't believe
it.
You'd think there was Norway they would have done something like that, but there they did.
I think us Norwegians have gotten so much smarter, true to decades.
They didn't know.
They didn't have GPS.
They didn't know where they were
landing.
They didn't know nothing.
I have to call you from up here and just to rattle your cage a little bit.
Well, and it's no coincidence you're calling from Hardee's because we know
Norwegians were a hearty breed.
Well, you have a
mutt talking to a purebred, so I feel a little bit less now.
Thank you for
that.
I better let you go, but I really have other more important people in Norwegian from Northeast Iowa.
Not if you're a purebred.
I'll tell you what, I'll argue with you right now.
You got it.
You got it.
Okay.
Well, a purebred Norwegian, I'm still shaken from the nervousness I had.
But anyway, anyway, you know, Friday morning, we wrapped the week up talking about schoolhouse rock.
I think a lot, a lot of us have that very close to our hearts.
We grew up with schoolhouse rock in the 70s.
and the 80s and it turned 50 years old Friday morning so we had to celebrate and we'll do that right after we check in with a sponsor and that means for me more money.
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and that brings us to Friday morning as we celebrated the 50th anniversary of schoolhouse rock, but first I have here five things you didn't know you needed to hear
All
right, so here's here's a crazy story man and woman in New Jay Z That's how you pronounce that state new Jay Z. We're arrested after stealing a
car, fleeing police, and then falling over 21 feet off an embankment and onto a house.
Did you catch that?
Stole a car, fled police, fell over 21 feet off an embankment and onto a house.
But here, what's even better, is the sound of this car.
And no, well, nobody was hurt or, well, people were hurt.
Of course, the couple in the car were hurt, but no other bystanders.
There's the
sound.
We thought we heard garage doors banging me off loud.
Unbelievable.
It was a car on top of a car.
Just thankful nobody got hurt.
Yeah, no kidding.
Thankful nobody got hurt.
Again, car flew off an embankment into a house.
So if that ain't the craziest sound you ever heard, I don't know what to tell you.
So Diane Keaton, I love Diane Keaton.
You know, she was in, she's in my favorite movie of all time, The Godfather.
She turned 77 yesterday and she celebrated by posting a video with her quirky sense of humor, which is a lot of the reason why I love Diane Keaton, but it shows a series of birthday cakes this video while she's singing Happy Birthday to you to herself.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday dear Diane.
Oh, I love you.
That was my 70s, 80s, and 90s girlfriend was Diane Keaton.
Then she broke up with me last year.
She didn't like the fact that I was married.
OK, anyway, moving right along, let's talk about Bed Bath and Beyond.
They said that it may not survive, warning that a bankruptcy filing may be part of their future.
I found this, and I don't think it was supposed to be aired yet, but it may be their last commercial.
Listen.
Bath and Beyond is running out of cash and headed towards bankruptcy.
So in order to prepare for Chapter 11, they're changing their name to Broke, Bust, and Be Gone.
No more saving on window coverings because it's curtains.
Forget about storage products.
Instead, look for something that's strapped.
Shopping for
brushes or
dusting supplies?
They're cleaned out.
Something to disinfect or sterilize?
They're all washed up.
Broke, Bust, and Be Gone.
Look for it in the same parking lot where you used to find Sears and Blockbuster.
I don't know if I would ever use this.
I wouldn't spend $3,000 on it, for sure, because I just don't have that kind of money.
But it's a $3,000 self-driving stroller developed in Canada, named an Innovation Awards nominee at CES this year.
And this is co-founder Ann Hunger explaining how this stroller works.
And part of it, I think, I understood.
Listen.
Oftentimes, we get parents' initial reaction.
Can I put my child?
in there and send it to grandma's house.
That's not what we're doing.
While the child is inside, we require one hand on the handlebar at least.
But when they really want to take their little ones out, because an infant wants that physical connection, crying, or a toddler wants to walk for a little while, and parents just want to hold their hands and explore the world with them, then they can do that.
And the stroller takes care of itself.
If you didn't catch that, it's not for putting your kid in and sending your kid to grandma's house, you know, that's self-driving.
Stroller obviously not but if you wanted to take your your toddler out and he wanted to walk a little bit or you wanted to hold your baby a little bit the Stroller takes care of itself so maybe maybe three thousand dollars though I don't know not in today's world with everything so expensive I can barely afford groceries
Alright, let's let's finally talk about there is You remember mood rings.
Well, this is a mood car.
It's a BMW mood car Okay, they're not calling it that they're calling it the vision D and it's a concept car that literally changes colors according to the driver's mood Well, I think I've got a plan for a new
show coming up on America's wildest police
chases
That's a big
10-4.
coming up on America's Wildest Police Chases.
Don't miss it.
There you go.
There you go.
You know, I think I might get that both for Mrs. Waters and my boss.
So I'll know what my boss's mood as soon as they drive into work here.
I'll know what my boss's mood is.
So I'll know how to act.
And same thing with Mrs. Waters coming home from an errand or what have you.
I'll know how she's thinking as well.
So that might be beneficial, you know, because of course I can afford to
BMWs for other people.
I like that's even a possibility.
I think that's five
things.
Five things
you didn't know you needed to hear.
Thanks.
I needed that.
You know everything now.
That's five things no one else
knows.
That's five things.
Thanks.
I needed
it.
You know, Friday morning, like I was saying earlier, 50th anniversary of Schoolhouse Rocks.
So many great ones.
What was your favorite?
Do you think that the original people
You know,
some of these people, no matter what kind of politics you're thinking about, and I think all the politicians could
benefit in hearing some of this stuff.
But some of them are, say, in their 30s.
They don't even know about this stuff.
I think they're better educated than they are because of Schoolhouse Rock.
That's right.
I said it, and I'm not ashamed.
I agree.
I totally agree, that was a great, I remember watching it growing up with it.
Even older, after I got out of school, it was always fun to watch.
Yeah,
and it was always
educational, like I was talking about those real world scenarios with medical students and political science students.
Yeah, I mean, I never realized some of that, but I can see it in there.
But it's so ironic that that's phrases in there 50 years and here we are.
Every
single one of them's just like that slutty bill in the in the schoolhouse rock And they're they're all even sounding even sadder than that guy because yeah
Where is there sitting there on Capitol Hill?
Waiting for these idiots who need a little bit of education.
Send them the video.
Yeah.
Amen, brother.
I think that's a great point.
You have a great day today too, okay?
And go Vikings on Sunday.
Oh, absolutely.
You know, hopefully more than just one player decides to show up.
I mean, you know, Hawkinson was really the only player that decided he wanted to play.
I know.
He played good.
He did.
Nobody else did.
And he was,
he was like standing all alone in the field sometimes ready to catch a ball.
And it never came kind of like a bill waiting to be passed.
It never happened.
Well, that's kind of what was going on with Sirk on throwing the ball.
He was kind of waiting to pass and steady just.
and the ball to the defense player.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, I wonder if there's a schoolhouse rock episode
on consistency.
But the best that I had, anyway, from the
week.
Have a great weekend.
Let's go Vikes.
Come on, politicians.
Can we do something, please?
I'll catch you on Monday.
Weekday mornings, 5.30 to
10.
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