Oh boy, alright, so starting things off, there was a Mississippi man, stole an airplane and threatened to crash it into a Walmart.
Target was like, uh, hello?
Hey, you know the NASA moon rocket failed to launch for a second time?
Don't worry, NASA, it happens to everybody, at least, so I've heard.
And you know, NASA is going to smash an object into an asteroid in order to test whether they can change its trajectory.
You know, they're pretty confident.
The object they're sending up is Tyra Banks' forehead, so...
I'll let you know how it goes.
So Starbucks has announced they will have a new CEO starting next April.
He will then be replaced by a pumpkin spice version in the fall.
So, of course he will.
California could make the minimum wage for fast food workers $22 an hour, which would cause a very quick career change for current Uber driver Tito Jackson.
Three more cast members left SNL and their names...
Not Kenan Thompson, not Kenan Thompson, and not Kenan Thompson.
Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters, 79 years old today.
But if you already knew that, congrats on having something in common with my burnout neighbor who lives in a van.
Oh, hold on, that's me.
Willow Smith recently explained why she shaved her head when she was 11 years old.
Plot twist, she was auditioning for the lead in G.I.
Jane Jr.
And finally, the college football playoffs will expand to 12 teams.
So instead of beating three teams, Alabama will now beat 11.
There you go.
Those are your hit and run headlines.
