Let's get lucky here with some hit-and-run headlines, shall we?
It's just a way to kind of update you on some things that are going on, and, well, today is Friday the 13th.
I've told you that before, but today's no worse than any other day, really.
Unless all your money's in crypto.
And I think we're all smarter than that.
Hey, a new wearable device will let you know if you have too much alcohol in your system.
You know what that wearable device is?
Handcuffs.
Shake Shack is coming out with candles that smell like a burger, fries, and milkshake.
Why would I want something inside my apartment that reminds me of my work?
replied Scott Bayo.
You know, scientists have successfully grown plants in soil from the moon.
You know what that means?
We're one step closer to smoking moonweed.
Imagine how loony that'll get you.
Mark Zuckerberg turns 38 tomorrow, which brings up the question of just what do you get for the man who has everything that's that's stored on your computer in his possession and is selling it to advertisers as we speak.
You know, Ellen says she has not figured out what she's going to do now that her talk show is over.
I mean, professionally, that is.
I mean, personally, what she'll do next is scream at the housekeeper.
You know, Alfonso Ribeiro, you know, he says he will not do the Carlton dance on demand unless he's behind on his car payment.
Then anything goes.
You know, there are rumors Will and Jada are getting divorced.
The trouble started when he didn't catch her in bed with another man.
I think that's how that happened.
So Rob Gronkowski turns 33 today.
And you know, somehow I feel like even if his last name was Jones, the universe would have found some way to make his nickname Gronk.
Pretty sure of it.
Phil Mickelson lost almost $40 million gambling.
And in other interesting news about golf,
No, that's it.
That's the only thing interesting about golf.
Hey, you know, Dennis Rodman turned 61 today.
If you want to get him a gift, you can't go wrong with a gender.
There you go.
You're hit and run headlines on a Friday the 13th.
