Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
So
let's have a little fun with the news, do some hit and run headlines.
So dozens of big Hollywood names, they sent an open letter to the Oscars demanding that they show all awards live.
You know, next they need to write an open letter to me explaining why I should care who styled Benedict Cumberbatch's hair, you know?
Who cares?
Courtney Cox forgot being on Friends.
She doesn't remember being on Friends.
Too bad there aren't reruns on every channel, every second of every day to remind her.
Chuck Norris, Mr. Awesomeness himself turns 82 today, but he doesn't celebrate birthdays.
Birthdays celebrate him.
All right, on to sports.
Aaron Rodgers is still refusing to say how much his new deal with the Packers is worth.
You know, all he's going to say is that he's immunized against poverty.
That's all he's saying.
Wide receiver Josh Gordon is re-signed with the Chiefs.
It's good news for Gordon.
Great news for anyone in Kansas City selling pot.
Sources say the Giants are going to be making a run at quarterback Mitch Trebisky.
And if he's smart, Trebisky will make a run in the opposite direction.
Just a hint there, Trabisci.
So NASA is going to finally open a vacuum sealed sample it took from the moon 50 years ago.
And hey, everything else has been going so well in the past few years, you know?
I think now's the best time, right?
So Chinese scientists were able to get a virgin mouse to give birth to a litter.
At least that's what her mouse husband is telling all his mouth friends down at the cheese bar.
Apple released a green iPhone 13.
Yes, green iPhone 13.
It's like a regular iPhone 13, but it ate it chipotle.
Smuggle 52 lizards and snakes hidden in his clothing into California.
Some lizards were hidden near his groin area, which is why the man is now suffering from reptile dysfunction disorder.
Huh?
Get it?
Oh, where's the pot brownie mom?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Sometimes I need a little extra laugh.
Okay, alright, that's enough.
That's enough, Pot Brownie Mom.
And finally, today is National Ranch Day.
Americans love ranch.
In fact, most of them think it's the fifth food group.
I know I do.
There you go.
Your hidden run headlines for a throwback Thursday.
Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments.
furnished, in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
