Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
Tiktok
now allows users to post videos of up to 10 minutes in length.
Unfortunately, it's still not requiring users to actually have something useful to say, so 10 minutes and nothing.
That sounds entertaining.
So Kim Kardashian said Kanye's behavior on social media has created tension and made her anxious.
In fact, poor Kim was so anxious on her first flight on her $150 million jet
that she could barely eat her caviar.
Poor Kim.
Getting to sports, Russell Wilson removed the Seahawks from his Twitter bio.
Just what people in Seattle need, more reason to smoke weed.
Well, it's true.
Chief star receiver Tyreek Hill turns 28 today.
He'll have a birthday cake later, but only if he's successful in hiding it from Andy Reed.
Aaron Rodgers wants $50 million a year from the Packers.
He plans to use some of that money to launch his own pastry shop called Cinnaman Bun.
You know, today is a world compliment today.
You know, I wonder what idiot came up with that.
Some Target stores in New York are paying new hires $24 an hour.
It inspired Amazon to gift their workers with two bathroom breaks, so good on ya.
A Southwest Airlines passenger peed on the floor during a flight.
He was charged with one count of impersonating a spirit passenger.
Ukraine, this is awesome, is using twisted sisters.
We're not going to take it as a battle cry.
But Russia says they're headed for a heartache and living on a prayer and warned them that they don't know what they've got till it's gone.
And you know, I'm doing my small symbolic part.
Here at work, in opposing Putin's aggression, I've replaced the fifth of Russian standard vodka in my desk drawer to a fifth of Grey Goose.
Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
apartment?
Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
Unfortunately, it's still not requiring users to actually have something useful to say, so 10 minutes and nothing.
That sounds entertaining.
So Kim Kardashian said Kanye's behavior on social media has created tension and made her anxious.
In fact, poor Kim was so anxious on her first flight on her $150 million jet that she could barely eat her caviar.
Poor Kim.
Getting to sports, Russell Wilson removed the Seahawks from his Twitter bio.
Just what people in Seattle need, more reason to smoke weed.
Well, it's true.
Chief Star Receiver Tyreek Hill turns 28 today.
He'll have a birthday cake later, but only if he's successful in hiding it from Andy Reed.
Aaron Rodgers wants $50 million a year from the Packers.
He plans to use some of that money to launch his own pastry shop called Cinnamon Bun.
You know, today is a world compliment today.
You know, I wonder what idiot came up with that.
Target stores in New York are paying new hires $24 an hour.
It inspired Amazon to gift their workers with two bathroom breaks, so good on ya.
A Southwest Airlines passenger peed on the floor during a flight.
He was charged with one count of impersonating a spirit passenger.
Ukraine, this is awesome, is using twisted sisters.
We're not gonna take it as a battle cry.
But Russia says they're headed for a heartache and living on a prayer and warned them that they don't know what they've got till it's gone.
And you know, I'm doing my small symbolic part here at work in opposing Putin's aggression.
I've replaced the fifth of Russian standard vodka in my desk drawer to a fifth of grey goose.
There you go.
Those are your hit and run headlines on a Tuesday
morning.
Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station apartments.
Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer, internet included, a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
Apartment?
And now, the waters wake up called with this morning's five things you didn't know you needed to hear.
So getting your news from the town drunk.
All right, listen up.
Let's do this.
So HBO's got this new show coming out, and it's weird.
You know, I like weird, but this is really weird.
This is coming out next month.
It's about a baby that might actually be a killer.
That's right.
It's called The Baby, and it could be about a killer baby.
I hope it's a comedy, but it's about a 38-year-old woman who's tired of watching all her friends have babies.
But when she ends up taking care of a kid, she learns, and I'm quoting here, the true extent of the baby's deadly nature and then tries to get rid of it.
So the baby is an eight-episode show, premieres April 24th on HBO.
Hey, have you ever heard of something called Uncontrollable Hair Syndrome?
I think a lot of us feel like we have it some days, but this is actually a thing.
There's this mom in Georgia and her one-year-old son diagnosed last year with this uncontrollable hair syndrome.
So the mom, Caitlyn Samples, never even heard of this.
I've never heard of uncontrollable hair syndrome either.
But a stranger messaged her on Instagram to ask if her son had it after seeing his photo.
So as a mom, I would have taken that as an insult, I would have thought, but she immediately started googling it.
God is diagnosis.
So what this is, it's a rare hair disorder and genetic condition that typically affects kids between three months and three years, but there have been cases of kids up to age 12.
There have only been like a hundred cases reported, but experts say there could be more unreported cases.
But it explains that kids with this uncontrollable hair syndrome can have hair that just grows in all directions, it can be hard to manage, and can you imagine what strangers would be thinking?
of you as a mother or you as a dad if you had your kid out and about in public with hair like that.
That's the first thing I think of, which is probably not the right thing, but I don't know if you know the website EatThis, not that.
It is a website that I've gotten very familiar with since having my heart event in mid-December.
EatThis, not that.com.
Believe it or not, clocking in at, get this, 1,499 calories, 149 grams of fat and drum roll please.
Oh, that's right, the drum, the drummer called in sick.
4,755 milligrams of sodium.
Yeah, it's the Burger King's Spicy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich.
For the record, the recommended daily amount, 2300 milligrams of sodium.
This has 4755.
I have to end with...
They found a pearl worth like 10 grand in one of their clams.
I've never liked clams, but I'm gonna have to start ordering clams, and maybe I'll find a pearl and have 10,000 clams.
So I'll let you know if I find out anywhere that's serving pearl clams, alright?
Those are the five things you didn't know you needed to hear on a Tuesday morning.
